Lauren Spiro –

March 28, 2023

This article is an invitation to open our perceptions to other approaches of supporting people through emotional crisis. Rather than pathologizing behavior we can use curious inquiry to explore the intelligence that is working. “What is this behavior serving or supporting?” or “What is the story that this metaphor is trying to tell?” or even, simply, “What happened?” Thus, with compassion we look for the intelligence that was used by the person in distress in order to survive.

Retraction, numbness, or dissociation are signs of intelligence that was effective in managing the situation and/or the emotions given the circumstances. Respecting our coping mechanisms as intelligence at work, we can then gently explore the layers of distancing (or numbness and retraction), giving it more space and support to be felt. This allows more understanding and wisdom to flow and brings relief. There is less need to compartmentalize and numb.

For transparency, I will say that decades ago I spent 15 months as a teenager in a conventional mental institution and was labeled with chronic schizophrenia. The passion fueling this article is a deep desire to be free from any form of oppression that makes my life smaller than it needs to be, but particularly mental health oppression (the drive to look “normal”) which has been my life’s work. I have learned that as I shed the layers of numbness, I can bring more light to that in me which makes me more whole, mature, and wise. Healing trauma allows more flow, flexibility in our thinking, and being more present, more accepting of difference and different perceptions of how life should be.

Whatever I resist persists; numbness or denial is the glue that serves as a barrier to enhancing self-awareness. We don’t need to override what we feel but rather gently explore it, seeing what emotions may come up along the way. And we can do this with other people whom we trust and who are willing to listen and are therefore a resource for becoming more grounded in our body. This way we can expand our relationship with our self, with others, with our family and perhaps our ancestors–and if we choose to take it to deeper levels, we can explore our relationship with the earth and the universe.

Each of us has the power to enhance our self-awareness and resolve the fixated or hardened parts of ourselves. Freedom is transcendence, elevating our awareness. Thus, we can clear our perceptual lens and let more of the world into us. That’s the core of the peer-run respite/Soteria house approach to emotional crisis response, and it contrasts strikingly from the approach of conventional psychiatry.

To help bring light to these differences, I invited diverse people to take part in a dialogue. Each person invited had experience being either a service recipient in a peer-run respite, a Soteria House, or a conventional setting, and/or experience as a staff member of any of these. Much gratitude and appreciation goes to Cindy Hadge, Adrian Bernard, and Burt Mooney for sharing their wisdom and experience in our dialogue, and special thanks to Grace Silvia who co-wrote the specific comparisons of these different approaches which are explained below.

To clarify language, the term “peer-run respite” refers to an alternative to being admitted to a psychiatric institution and instead offers a voluntary, home-like, trauma-sensitive setting in the community where people are assisted through the crisis. Similar to peer-run respites but different in some ways, the Soteria model primarily uses peers for its staff and is founded on principles of voluntary stay and the recovery model, including minimal use of neuroleptic drugs. The original Soteria house was founded by a psychiatrist, not a peer, and as a research study it had specific guidelines that prevented participation by some groups of people. Both of these programs are spreading around the world and are evolving. Some do things differently, sometimes by choice and sometimes because of the funding source and/or policy environment.

All quotes in this article are from our dialogue participants; their words bring clarity to the comparisons of emotional crisis response.

Comparisons

My therapist said, ‘Let’s talk about your childhood’. I said ‘the house is on fire, I want to figure out how to sleep.

I was locked in an isolation room with nothing but a toilet and they told me that was for my safety. It did not feel safe.

The conventional approach understands presenting behaviors as reflecting a disturbed, diseased, or chemically imbalanced mind. Underlying emotional crisis is not typically considered. On the other hand, peer-run respites/Soteria houses understand emotional crisis as something that may happen when circumstances exceed a person’s current capacity to effectively cope. Crisis response behaviors are often seen as having important meaning for the person’s life and may be related to trauma.

Many times people in clinical roles get set up with the impossible expectation that you have control over people and if they don’t do well it is your fault. In peer work I know I don’t have control over someone else. In fact I probably don’t know what is best for them. I would have to talk to them and hear their story in the context of their distress. I am not going to assume that I know. I partner with them, to try and be honest and vulnerable regarding what is coming up for me and what my limitations are. Hopefully I am creating a space for them to find their own solution, to use their inner wisdom to figure out what path makes sense for them.

At Soteria the staff never judged us or tried to guide us to any particular therapy. A part of myself knew what I had to go through and the staff were there to support me … without my being drugged, coerced and diagnosed… I was very blessed to have been in an environment where I could have that experience and come out the other end and learn who I am.

The goal of the conventional approach is to reduce or eliminate symptoms, making the person easier to manage and conform to dominant cultural norms. It is believed that the person in crisis does not know what is best for themselves. Thus, the focus is on modifying behavior. In contrast, peer-run respites/Soteria houses create a mutually respectful space where compassion is offered and individual choice is honored. The person in crisis realizes they are not alone, can reclaim their power, and come to find meaning in their crisis experience. The focus is on deepening self-awareness.

The conventional approach is very fear-based. Success is for you to not hear voices or not have big feelings. In peer respite, the question is how do you make sense of it and what is the context of your distress. There is a belief that no matter how unusual the experience or belief is somehow if you look at someone’s life experience it makes sense.

Whose safety are we talking about? It is often more about staff feeling safe.

I began working where I had been an inpatient. Staff said, ’Oh you are a different person’. I said, I was always in here you just were not looking. You were telling me, take your meds and be happy with a very limited life.

What does research data show? Considering the conventional approach, a review of over 100 studies worldwide concluded, “The immediate post-discharge period is a time of marked risk, but rates of suicide remain high for many years after discharge.” Another study concluded “Suicide risk increased during the entire admission and post-discharge period, but peaked in the first week of admission and the first week post-discharge.”

Specific to psychopharmaceutical interventions: there are some short- and long-term benefits for some patients; however, long-term data shows significant debilitating effects, including 20-year lower life expectancy and interference with long-term recovery for many. Conversely, data show significant benefit of peer respite and Soteria House approaches on many levels. Data for peer respite shows improvements in self-esteem, empowerment, social activity, and self-rated mental health symptoms; cost savings; 70% reduction in use of inpatient or emergency services; and more.

The rates of suicides go up after being in the hospital. Forced hospitalization is increasing suicide. What the person has learned is, don’t talk about it because that is what alleged help looks like. They did not lose the feelings. They learn how to lie to get out of the hospital. People who are talking about suicide are not doing it. It is sad to be at that place in your life and get tackled onto the pavement by police because you might hurt yourself, How does that make sense? To get psych drugs, medication, is not talking about the context of your distress.

In terms of the power dynamic, the conventional approach is characterized by a power over approach. Decisions are guided or imposed by professionals whose expert knowledge is unquestioned. The focus is on compliance; the approach is often coercive, which is often experienced by the person in crisis as a violation. In response, the person in crisis may withdraw, comply, or act out in anger in reaction to the coercion and not being seen, heard, or understood.

Hospital staff want me regulated and stable which to me means numb and dumb.

When conventional staff ask about safety and your response is ‘I am not feeling safe’, the staff response was ‘we are going to keep you safe. Now take off all your cloths in front of this stranger and put them in a paper bag. I will take away your phone and all your stuff and lock you in a room’… A part of safety is transparency. If there are rules, be transparent. Tell me what is going on – even if I cannot respond verbally; keep me informed.

In contrast, the peer-run respite/Soteria house approach is power with, where decisions are guided by the person in crisis, whose knowledge of themselves and their situation is honored. The focus is on creating a safe space by listening, exploring the person’s experience and perspective, and supporting them in thinking and feeling their way through the crisis, even if it means going into the unknown and tolerating uncertainty.

I was not safe in my body as a young person… Working in peer respite now it is a constant training process to get people to think differently about what safety means… we tend to make sure to not go down the slippery slope of control and power over. It is a constant, honest negotiation with each other and with ourselves. I have a different relationship with the word, safety. It is a beautiful thing now because I do internally feel safe in myself and who I am in the world.

Another domain is “being with versus doing to.” The conventional approach is to evaluate the person and either minimize or eliminate behaviors, feelings, or ideas considered problematic, primarily using psychiatric drugs. Those in emotional crisis may respond with a need to protect or defend themselves due to being pressured to accept the definition of their experience as a chemical imbalance/mental illness, and to accept the diagnosis and treatment imposed on them. However, the peer-run respite/Soteria house supporter’s intention is to create a safe “being with” space by listening to the person in crisis, exploring together literal or symbolic meaning within the crisis, and supporting the person to move towards meeting their expressed needs and desires.

The supporter also tracks the impact of their own words and actions to ensure that the person in crisis feels listened to and validated. This approach invites openness in the person in emotional crisis and fosters the capacity to look at their inner experience which allows the person to move through the crisis and consider their hopes and intentions for the future.

The conventional approach is, We want to make you think in this box, in the world we are defining for you. Whereas in peer respite we walk alongside, we are a lot more open to people being able to experience their lives the way they want to be defined and how they want to experience it. We experience it together. It is a place where people can express deep and painful things. We don’t try and control them, we have multiple conversations. It is about what is leading to this, and how are you feeling about life and exploring that in a deeper way. We are a family essentially, as a community. We are here for each other, with each other. We walk with people through some pretty intense stuff.

Let’s consider trauma. In the conventional approach, problematic behaviors, emotions, and/or ideas are often understood to be caused by brain chemical imbalances (possibly with a genetic basis). Some consideration may be paid to trauma, but not as an underlying cause. Often, staff do not use a trauma-informed approach. Thus, re-traumatization occurs. Little consideration is paid to the traumatization of staff, other patients, and others witnessing various interventions. The use of psychiatric drugs may mask and compound the trauma.

Many times being in the hospital is not about healing trauma, or creating a life you want, or creating a family atmosphere. It is about containing and medicating someone to the point they don’t have energy to do anything. That is what recovery is. They can barely walk so they will not be any trouble.

Peer-run respites/Soteria houses understand that trauma may be involved in any life-interrupting crisis. Trauma may be individual, intergenerational, community, and/or historical and include the traumas of racism, sexism, poverty, and other forms of systemic oppression that impact people’s lives and are often perpetuated by the behavioral health, education, political, and criminal justice systems. The person in crisis is supported to trust their wisdom, come to their own understanding about their experience, and determine their next steps.

This worst moment I am having may be a catalyst for something great and wonderful versus a catastrophe.

Let’s consider relationality, or the way people are connected. The conventional supporter maintains a professional distance with the person in crisis. Generally, the collective wounds have not been named but rather they have been normalized with multi-system societal messages of “This is how life is” (e.g., racism, sexism, classism, etc.). Peer-run respite/Soteria house supporters engage emotionally and invite mutual learning, including sharing their crisis experiences and what has helped them if the person in crisis is interested and finds it helpful.

As the relationship deepens, the person in crisis may feel safer to explore what meaning the crisis and their emotions may hold for them. Engaging together invites insight and the integration of their experience. Thus, they may become free from learned reactions and past coping mechanisms and practice responding in ways that better serve them. This may lead to creating a life that is more aligned with their deeper self, values, and vision.

When people have more agency, feel stronger, have more community connection or supportive family then they are able to withstand unpacking things.

Lastly, let’s look at the use of law enforcement. Conventionally, law enforcement typically focuses on controlling the person in crisis, who is seen as volatile and potentially harmful to self or others. Sometimes aggressive interventions are used, up to and including lethal force. These interventions often have a harmful impact on the person in crisis, law enforcement personnel, witnesses, families, and the community. Conversely, peer-run respite/Soteria house stays are completely voluntary. When peer-run respite or Soteria House is available, there is often no need for law enforcement engagement. Staff and supporters focus on embodying trauma-sensitive ways to engage the person, including consideration for physical, environmental, and emotional safety.

I hope this article has illuminated some essential processes in healing from trauma, hurts, or humiliation, and/or the importance of respecting one’s need to protect their self. I invite you, dear reader, to open your heart and mind even wider and believe completely in the full potential of every human being. Each of us has the capacity to be a drop of medicine contributing to building healing communities. If you have read this article with an open mind then I want to share one last thought: If we do not see the other person in terms of their highest future potential then we are practicing attentional violence. We are taught that “this is the way things are” but I respectfully submit that this is seeing through a lens of hurt and pain.

As Otto Scharmer explains it, “Attentional violence is to not to be seen and recognized in terms of who you really are—in terms of your highest future possibility. Instead you are only seen in terms of your journey of the past, that is, in terms of the circumstances of the past, in terms of who you happen to be today.”

Resources

• International Peer Respite/Soteria Summit: https://www.alternatives-conference.org/peerrespitesoteriasummit
• Peer Respite Handbook: https://wildfloweralliance.org/peer-respite-handbook/)
• International Peer Respite/Soteria Summit: https://www.peerrespite-soteria.org/resources/
• The Pocket Project: https://pocketproject.org/

Two years ago I co-founded the Honoring Circle (HC). A small group of us have participated in the HC process every week for 2 years. It has changed our lives and so we decided to invite others to join us in this practice. We currently have participants from across the US and Europe and people from Africa and the Far East. We have open spaces in the several free HCs we set up for a 6 week period from March 6, 2022 through April 16, 2022. Contact me if you would like to join a free HC during this time period.

A little background context: The intention of the Honoring Circle (HC) is to deepen our awareness of self, including our body, and mindfully listen to both ourselves and to others, and the Universe, creating a resonant, healing space. Recently we decided to expand our Circle so that others may experience it. We decided to take the HC through the structure (co-sensing, co-initiating, transformational listening, etc.) developed by Otto Scharmer, co-founder of the Presencing Institute at MIT. Otto’s global class began a few weeks ago and we have an extended team of 20 people joining us in the class process but we have opening in our actual HCs. So I thought I would invite more folks. Every day we seem to have another person joining us. I will work to find a time that works for you.

A description of our process follows. Feel free to use it and give us attribution (Honoring Circle, Presencing Institute)

Honoring Circle – Honoring Self and Honoring Others

Introduction

The Honoring Circle is an embodied practice that provides a way to connect with ourselves, to recreate community and develop the skills of deep listening and empathy. Deep listening and witnessing help build a container of trust where we can show up without needing to hide our true selves. Embodying this process may lead to increased feelings of self-worth, trust in our own body’s inherent intelligence and an enhanced sense of self-confidence. Those who have practiced it regularly have found the Honoring Circle to be an anchor amidst the turbulence, a safe place to feel grounded, seen and heard in a way that feels healing. The witnessing is as important as the sharing.

The Process

Setting the container: To begin we announce a sacred space in a ceremonial way, perhaps with a ringing bowl or other culturally appropriate item. From this time all that is shared within the circle is not to be shared outside the circle. We honour each other by listening with our whole body, with all our senses and with our heart, speaking of and from our true selves. Staying present in the moment, we witness each other. We pass the talking stick around the circle (metaphorically online or literally in person) and practice listening The intention of the Honoring Circle is to deepen our awareness of self, including our body, and mindfully listen to both ourselves and to others, and the Universe, creating a resonant, healing space.

Each person who wishes shares:

Round 1: How you feel around what’s been happening in your life recently and the impact it has had on you. Round 1 invites us to check in with each other, to quiet our minds, and to settle into our group space.

Round 2: Share your being-ness, that is, how you are in your mind , heart and body and how connected you feel to earth/sky/Universe. Throughout this practice it is important to simply witness and share what is observed, not to change anything. This act of direct awareness and sharing may have a transformative effect. Allowing the process is important.

While realising our entire being is a unified whole, to assist in connecting to ourselves in this deep way, we suggest four areas of focus.

1) Mind/ Head – Notice the quality of sensations in your mind or head, e.g., the flow of thoughts, the speed, the texture, anything you observe; everybody notices different things and describe this to the group. The intention is to be present to your mind in this precise moment.

2) Heart space/Emotions – Deeply sense what is happening in your heart here and now. It might be emotions, energies, or even physical sensations. Whatever it is, we are not trying to change anything, but rather give it a voice and witness it. We want to allow the heart to speak.

3) Physical body – Observe and share about any body sensations. You may want to do a scan over your body. What do you notice on the surface or inside your body – does it feel light or heavy, hot or cold, pleasant/ unpleasant/ neutral? You may even mention your energy level. Each day is different but we share what we witness right now.

4) Earth/Sky – Notice your connection with the earth, are you feeling grounded, what do you sense when you focus on your physical, emotional and/or spiritual connection to Earth, Sky or Universe?

Round 3: Next we share our present awareness of cohesion, alignment or non-alignment (or a synchronistic flow of energy) between our mind, heart and emotions both within ourselves, within our circle and possibly in relation to the current state of the world. Feel free to share reflections, new insights, images, etc., from our personal experience using statements such as (I feel, I sense, I realise, etc), as an offering without speaking directly about what another person shared. Time permitting, we may move into a short generative dialogue building on what has been shared.

Close the circle with intention.

Updated 3-11-22 ls

Peer Respite should be everyone’s concern because it is a model for how each of us can be like a drop of medicine, that is, we can become a remedy together for transforming our relationships and therefore transforming society.

My intent with this blog is to compare some lessons learned from my recent medical crisis response to a similar peer-run respite response. I hope, dear reader, that you can see for yourself how far we need to go to begin arriving at a trauma-informed, empowering, compassionate response to people in crisis.

Peer Respite

My use of the term peer respite comes from the first project of its kind in the world, the Stepping Stone respite. Stepping Stone was founded by Shery Mead in New Hampshire and, since 1997, has been completely run by people with the lived experience of having survived beyond the “mental health” system. The mission of Stepping Stone—and peer respites like it—is to transform crisis into an opportunity for personal discovery. In peer respite, we can learn to transcend the limitations imposed on us, become more empowered in our own lives, and create new, healthier ways of relating with others.

Since those early days, peers have developed other peer-run respites throughout the U.S., and the terms and the approaches have evolved. They are also referred to as hospital diversion houses or stabilization houses. But all peer respites divert people from being admitted a psychiatric institution and instead offer a voluntary, home-like, trauma-sensitive setting in the community where they are assisted through the crisis. Research data shows the significant benefit of this approach to care on many levels, including cost saving, reduced recidivism rates, and an increased sense of empowerment.

Peer respites are rapidly spreading across the United States and internationally. It is important, however, to recognize that each peer respite has its own set of corporate values, principles, policies, procedures, operations, and outcomes. My blog, Soteria House and Peer Respite Summit, provides some research data on peer respites.

Similar to peer respites, the Soteria model primarily uses peers for its staff and is founded on principles of voluntary stay and the recovery model, including minimal use of neuroleptic drugs (which are the first-line intervention in conventional psychiatric care). However, Soteria is a little different from peer respite; the original Soteria house was founded by a psychiatrist, not a peer, and as a research study it had specific guidelines that prevented participation by some groups of people.

The Soteria model is also spreading across the world. In Israel, for example, there are 12 "stabilizing houses" modeled on the Soteria House model. Current Soteria Houses are doing some things differently, sometimes by choice and sometimes because of their funding source and/or policy environment.

My Recent Medical Crisis

I recently experienced a medical crisis that led to a hospitalization. My experience of being hospitalized reminded me of the peer respite approach—a trauma-informed, empowering, compassionate response. I hope that as the conventional system tries to replicate what makes peer respite outcomes so significant, we don’t lose the heart of why this approach really matters and changes lives.

I write this blog from the comfort of my own home and grateful to have returned to being very healthy. My intention is to point out some comparisons between how I was treated during my medical crisis and how people are perceived and treated in a peer respite approach.

My story begins here: I had felt ill for several days and thought it was due to having eaten some bad food. Since I was far from home and out of state, I had spotty communication with a new telemedicine doctor and was not able to get into community-based urgent care. I thought I needed an antibiotic, which I thought would be easy to obtain, but it wasn’t.

At the same time, I was getting to know Joel better. We had begun a business relationship (online) one month earlier, but when we met in-person he could see that I needed assistance and he generously offered support. From the moment we met there was a spaciousness, an openness, a presence of relational awareness. This was not reduced to the three-dimensional transactions that were taking place, but more importantly what was happening in the space between us. When he spoke, the intent of his words and his context landed deeply in me, and when I spoke, I could tell my words and context were received by him. I sensed he was taking in the entire context of my situation as I was doing the same for him.

As time went on and I grew weaker and had increasing difficulty eating, the telemedicine doctor emailed that he didn’t think I had a bacterial stomach infection and maybe I had covid. Thus, urgent care was able to quickly set up a covid test and the next morning I got the positive test result. Joel and I had briefly spoken about the possibility of his driving me to the hospital, but that day we got more work taken care of (including some preparation for me to go to the hospital).

The next morning, I realized with every ounce of wisdom in my body, mind, spirit, and environment that I needed immediate medical attention. I simply told Joel to call 911 for an ambulance, which he did without question, without hesitation. He completely trusted my mind, my judgement, my intelligence, my decision.

When the ambulance arrived, the paramedics were completely focused on context and on me, my situation, and how could they get the stretcher into the bedroom where I was. They couldn’t—at least not very easily—so they tenderly asked if I could walk 8 feet to the stretcher. I said I could, but they were so focused on my safety they vigilantly touched or had their bodies and arms (one person on each side of me) ready to help me if I faltered. I deeply felt their care and thoughtfulness; it brings tears to my eyes now.

Why, you might ask? Sadly, I think about how different it would have been if I had been in emotional crisis rather than medical crisis. I think about what often happens when 911 is called because someone is having an emotional crisis, when their emotions get so big that the simmering tea kettle boils over and they ask for help in ways that may seem—and may be—unusual. Many dear readers know what happens when untrained or improperly trained professionals (e.g., law enforcement) or people get involved—sometimes it makes news headlines. And always, even when it does not result in the person in crisis being killed, there is additional trauma to the person in crisis as well as the responders and the witnesses.

I don’t want to overly reduce the complexity of a community situation when 911 is called for a mental health crisis, but the emergency response needs to involve (among other things, e.g., community safety) a compassionate approach to help the person in crisis feel seen, heard, validated, and respected so that the person is able to more effectively communicate their needs.

I told the emergency medical team what hospital to take me to and they did, and they did so without question even though two other hospitals were closer. Again, I thought—would they have done that if I were in emotional crisis, rather than medical crisis?

At the hospital the tenderness, respectfulness, thoughtfulness for my comfort and what I wanted continued. I knew that I was in the right place and therefore I could relax and let them do whatever they needed to do. I noticed the details as I was taken immediately into a covid isolation room in the emergency department. My life was in their hands and I could give my body to them to be cared for. I didn’t need to struggle any more. I didn’t need to force myself to drink more water to try and stay hydrated because the IV fluids did it for me—they were taking exquisite care of me—body, mind, emotions—the whole package, the whole context was respected in a deep and caring way. It’s exactly what would happen in a peer respite.

In the hospital, the staff listened with presence, being in the moment with me, which created more intimacy. They had great skill at being able to focus and put aside whatever else was going on outside “us.” The doctor spoke to me as an equal partner: very personable, he wasn’t hurried, he explained my health status and asked if I had any questions. The compassion was obvious. The nurse was observant—without needing to inquire beforehand, she simply brought a pair of purple (my favorite color) hospital pants/scrubs and caringly asked me if I wanted them. I think (between us as women) she knew I would want them.

After several hours of being hydrated I was ready to be released back into the world, away from the 24/7 buzz of a large emergency department with cinderblock walls, beeping machines, and sterile everything.

And after that, I wondered whether they would have behaved so caringly if I had been in emotional crisis. That’s why peer respite is needed: it’s the peer respite model that ensures that type of response to an emotional crisis.

The Peer Respite Model

In the peer respite model, the individual is always acknowledged to be in a contextual and relational field. This is not just about what words we say and the tone of voice we use, but it is also what happens in the space between us. Peer respites model mutual relational awareness by being a safe holding space and thus a healing space (assuming the staff and all levels of the organization are aligned with collective trauma-healing policies, procedures, and practices). I use the term “collective” trauma-healing because deep, meaningful and sustainable healing happens in relationship, in community. We are not islands, as much as we would like to be sometimes!

In a mutually respectful space (e.g., peer respite) tracking how information lands in the listener is key. When I am in emotional distress or crisis, I need to know deep in my central nervous system that I am being fully seen and heard. I track this in many ways, not only by the other person’s verbal and non-verbal communication but by whether they are aligned with me. Can I feel a resonant space? Can I feel them feeling me? If not, perhaps becausethey are busy, my communication is not received—it doesn’t land—then we don’t meet in a higher level of relational awareness and the situation takes on a whole different trajectory. Healing does not happen and more layers of trauma get layered on and our sense of separation, isolation, and fragmentation are reinforced. I sense that for some people there may be a relationship between how fast that person moves through life to get some result or outcome and how deeply their intent (awarely or unawarely) is to numb their own emotional pain.

If, however, the conditions are met, then we can deepen the relational awareness in this time and space where it becomes safe to feel and be honest and where there is more capacity to relate to our wounds. I don’t have to put the social mask on to protect myself against the constant barrage of micro-and macro-aggressions so ubiquitous in our society. Rather, I have an opportunity to thaw the parts of me frozen in a trauma response, the numb parts I could not feel or look at before. In a safe space, I trust myself and the other and can continue to integrate the fragments of myself on a path of becoming whole, increasingly unattached or liberated from the past.

In peer respites they hold a lot of space for listening so we may digest, reflect, and integrate formerly unintegrated trauma information and thus become more able to meet the world as it is instead of how we would like it to be. We can unravel our own intelligence. Trauma brings fragmentation—my real self gets disconnected from the social mask I must wear to survive in the traumatized waters that the world swims in. My trauma response is the intelligence that saved me. I need time and space to honor it and bring love to the places that have been exiled so I may bring about unification, releasing past attachments that no longer serve me. We don’t need so much protection any longer because we’ve found more safety in our own bones and in building the relationships that sooth and nurture us.

I was lucky enough to experience this during my hospitalization for COVID. The flow of my entire medical situation was much easier because I knew I was not alone. I had someone who really cared nearby for whatever assistance I needed. In addition to that, my support system, which I have built over many years, was electronically engaged with texts, phone calls, and emails, keeping me blanketed with love and information that helped my healing.

But that’s not always true for many people who are hospitalized after an emotional crisis. Often, their phones and email privileges are revoked. They are treated as a burden and not listened to—certainly not with the empathic relational awareness I’m describing.

But imagine a different community response to how people in extreme emotional states are treated in the community. Peer respite is a research-proven compassionate response. It is critical that this resource expand to every community across the country.

Peer respites elevate our status so we are full partners, making all the decisions about how we want our day or our life to be, and we get support in thinking and feeling our way through the process. Many areas of our society have chosen to not fully recognize people with a mental health label or people in emotional crisis as a full partner. Psychiatric care is one of those areas. Involuntary treatment and involuntary hospitalization remove any sense of agency. People are coerced into drug treatments after a quick meeting with a psychiatrist or a doctor who may not even really listen to their concerns.

My story shows how great quality medical attention can be like peer respite where I am treated as an equal. The contrast here is to the conventional psychiatric establishment or “mental health” system where typically force, coercion, and trauma are all too commonplace. We only have to look at the increasing suicide rates in the US (and overseas as well) to understand this. Resources are few and far between for providing the response, the approach, the compassion and the intelligent relational awareness that is needed.

And finally, peer respites promote the idea that we have sovereignty over our own bodies.

The emergency room doctor recommended that I get a COVID vaccination in a couple of months but he added, that would be a decision between me and my doctor. How different that is from the way people who have gone through an emotional crisis are treated! So often we are coerced or forced into taking medications and our concerns are minimized or ignored. Just the act of giving me a choice about my medical situation and my body felt so empowering.

I am pleased to know that an international group of like-minded souls have been moving together and are taking an evolutionary step forward by creating the first ever virtual International Summit on Peer Respite/Soteria Houses to share our wisdom, inspire, and give “nuts and bolts” steps to spread peer respites and Soteria houses.

The Summit is free and takes place every Sunday in October 2021. Over 600 people are registered from 42 US states and 37 countries for this interactive series. This is an all-voluntary effort, and just over $14,000 towards a $20,000 goal has been raised for future sustainability and information dissemination purposes.

If you would like to know more or to register for the free Summit, click here: https://www.alternatives-conference.org/peerrespitesoteriasummit

In closing, I share some questions that I often ponder:

How can we develop presence and stay connected so we can invite healing?

How can we support each other to be together in our process of change and growth?

How can we enhance our capacity to respond rather than react?

How can we learn to better sense our self and sense others in the space deeper than words?

How do we recognize where we feel depleted and tired as an alarm bell indication of when we need to press the reset button for our own balance, well-being, and health?

We can’t do this alone. We need each other. How do we walk this path together?

How do we become like a drop of medicine?

What steps will we take to create more compassion around us?

How do we learn to listen to what our higher self is whispering about next steps?

Peer respite is a model for how we can become a remedy together, how each of us can be like a drop of medicine. I find it helpful to compare my recent medical crisis to a peer respite experience. It is important, however, to recognize that the over 50 peer respites in the United States have their own sets of corporate values, principles, policies, procedures, operations, and outcomes. See my blog of September 27, 2021, Soteria House and Peer Respite Summit, for some research data on peer respites. https://www.madinamerica.com/2021/09/soteria-peer-summit/

Two months ago, I realized with every ounce of wisdom in my body, mind, spirit and environment that I needed immediate medical attention. I simply told my new friend to call 911 for an ambulance which he did without question, without hesitation. He completely trusted my mind, my judgement, my intelligence, my decision. Obviously, you dear reader are getting the condensed version of the story. My friend had seen me for several consecutive days of not feeling well (and not able to get into community-based urgent care).

The point I want to make is: The individual is always in a contextual and relational field. This is not just about what words we say and the tone we use but it is also what happens in the space between us. Peer respites model mutual relational awareness by being a safe holding space and thus a healing space (assuming the staff and all levels of the organization are aligned with trauma-healing policies, procedures, and practices).

Back to the story. Though my friend was a very new person in my life brought together for mutual business purposes, he had time and could see I needed assistance and he generously offered support. From the moment we met there was a space, an openness, a presence for relational awareness. This was not reduced to the three-dimensional transactions that were taking place but more importantly what was happening in the space between us. When he spoke, the intent of his words and his context landed deeply in me, and when I spoke, I could tell my words and context were received by him. I sensed he was taking in the entire context of my situation as I was doing the same for him.

Another point – In a mutually respectful space (e.g., peer respite) tracking how information lands in the listener is key. When I am in emotional distress or crisis, I need to know deep in my central nervous system that I am being fully seen and heard. I track this in many ways, not only by the other person’s verbal and non-verbal communication but are they aligned with me. Can I feel a resonant space? Can I feel them feeling me? If not, becausethey are busy so my communication is not received – it doesn’t land – then we don’t meet in a higher level of relational awareness and the situation takes on a whole different trajectory. Healing does not happen and more layers of trauma get layered on and our sense of separation, isolation, and fragmentation are reinforced. I sense that for some people there may be a relationship between how fast that person moves through life and how deeply their intent (awarely or unawarely) is to numb their own emotional pain.

If, however, the conditions are met, then we can deepen the relational awareness in this time and space where it becomes safe to feel and be honest and where there is more capacity to relate to our wounds. I don’t have to put the social mask on to protect myself against the constant barrage of micro-and macro-aggressions so ubiquitous in our society. Rather, I have an opportunity to thaw the parts of me frozen in a trauma response, the numb parts I could not feel or look at before. In a safe space I trust myself and the other and can continue to integrate the fragments of myself on a path of becoming whole, increasingly unattached or liberated from the past.

The flow of my entire medical situation was much easier because I

knew I was not alone. I had someone who really cared nearby for whatever assistance I needed. In addition to that my support system was electronically engaged with texts, phone calls, and emails keeping me blanketed with love.

Back to the story: when the ambulance arrived, they were completely focused on context and on me, my situation, how could they get the stretcher into the bedroom where I was. They couldn’t – at least not very easily – so they tenderly asked if I could walk 8 feet to the stretcher. I said I could, but they were so focused on my safety they vigilantly touched or had their bodies and arms (one person on each side of me) ready to help me if I faltered. I deeply felt their care and thoughtfulness; it brings tears to my eyes now. Imagine if this was how people in extreme emotional states were treated in the community.

I told them the hospital to take me to; they did not for an instant question me though two other hospitals were closer.

At the hospital the tenderness, respectfulness, thoughtfulness for my comfort and what I wanted continued. I knew that I was in the right place and therefore I could relax and let them do whatever they needed to do. I noticed the details and there were many as I was taken immediately into a covid isolation room in the emergency department. My life was in their hands and I could give my body to them to be cared for. I didn’t need to struggle any more. I didn’t need to force myself to drink more water to try and stay hydrated because the IV fluids did it for me – they were taking exquisite care of me – body, mind, emotions – the whole package, the whole context was respected in a deep and caring way.

Another point: Peer respites elevate our status so we are full partners, making all the decisions about how we want our day or our life to be and we get support in thinking and feeling our way through the process. Many areas of our society have chosen to not fully recognize people with a mental health label or people in emotional crisis as a full partner.

The story: In the hospital the staff listened with presence, being in the moment with me, which created more intimacy. They had great skill at being able to focus and put aside whatever else was going on outside “us”. The doctor spoke to me as an equal partner, very personable, he wasn’t hurried, he explained my health status and asked if I had any questions. The compassion was obvious. The nurse was observant, without needing to inquire beforehand she simply brought a pair of purple (my favorite color) hospital pants/scrubs and caringly asked me if I wanted them. I think (between us as women) she knew I would want them. After several hours of being hydrated I was ready to be released back into the world away from the 24/7 buzz of a large emergency department with cinderblock walls, beeping machines, and sterile everything.

In peer respites they hold a lot of space for listening so we may digest, reflect, and integrate formerly unintegrated trauma information and thus become more able to meet the world as it is instead of how we would like it to be. We can unravel our own intelligence. Trauma brings fragmentation – my real self gets disconnected from the social mask I must wear to survive in the traumatized waters that the world swims in. My trauma response is the intelligence that saved me. I need time and space to honor it and bring love to the places that have been exiled so I may bring about unification, releasing past attachments that no longer serve me. We don’t need so much protection any longer because we’ve found more safety in our own bones and in building the relationships that sooth and nurture us.

I am pleased to know that an international group of like-minded souls have been moving together and are taking an evolutionary step forward by creating the first ever virtual International Summit on Peer Respite/Soteria Houses to share our wisdom, inspire, and give “nuts and bolts” steps to spread peer respites and Soteria houses.

The Summit is free and takes place every Sunday in October 2021. Over 600 people are registered from 42 states (US) and 32 countries for this interactive series. This is an all-voluntary effort, and over $10,000 towards a $20,000 goal has been raised for future sustainability and information dissemination purposes. If you would like to know more or to register for the free Summit, click here. https://www.alternatives-conference.org/peerrespitesoteriasummit

In closing, I share some questions that I often ponder.

How can we develop presence and stay connected so we can invite healing?

How can we support each other to be together in our process of change and growth?

How can we enhance our capacity to respond rather than react?

How can we learn to better sense our self and sense others in the space deeper than words?

How do we recognize where we feel depleted and tired as an alarm bell indication of when we need to press the re-set button for our own balance, well-being and health?

We can’t do this alone. We need each other. How do we walk this path together?

How do we become like a drop of medicine?

What steps will we take to create more compassion around us?

How do we learn to listen to what our higher self is whispering about next steps?

As you know, we are living in a time of great transformation. Our thinking, our lives, our priorities and perhaps seemingly everything in our lives is being re-evaluated and re-aligned to meet our deepest vision and hopes for life in our community and all around the world.

Like me, you may not have heard that we are days away from the 1st ever virtual international summit which represents a significant step forward in our co-creating the emerging future. That is, a future where we use our power to build places in every community to replace the use of force and coercion in the mental health system.

Rethinking Psychiatry has partnered with MindFreedom International to convene the first International Peer Respite and Soteria Summit:

Creating Compassionate Alternatives for People in Crisis and Distress.

The virtual Summit will take place for 3 hours on every Sunday in October from 12pm- 3pm ET. Bob Whitaker is moderatoring six impressive speakers on Day 1 of the 5 day Summit.

The Soteria House and peer respite models are both ways of supporting individuals in extreme states. Both models allow individuals to stay voluntarily in a homelike environment, and come and go as they please, while enjoying 24-7 support from non-clinical staff. Neither model forces people to take drugs yet both have been documented to be very successful at helping people avoid psychiatric hospitalizations.

Come to the Summit if you would like to find out more about these innovative, research -proven significantly effective alternatives to forced psychiatry from experts, including people with lived experience. Even better, find out what you need to know to bring a Soteria House or a peer respite to your community! For more information about the Summit topics and speakers and to register for the Summit: https://www.alternatives-conference.org/peerrespitesoteriasummit

I also wanted to share a small sample of research findings from Live and Learn, Inc Research — Peer Respites where I found the data shared in this blog. For example, results from three studies with a control or comparison group are below.

Findings:

■ Respite guests were 70% less likely to use inpatient or emergency services.
■ Respite days were associated with significantly fewer inpatient and emergency service hours.

Citation: Impact of the 2nd Story Peer Respite Program on Use of Inpatient and Emergency Services. Psychiatric Services. (2015)

Findings:

■ Statistically significant improvements in healing, empowerment, and satisfaction.
■ Average psychiatric hospital costs were $1,057 for respite-users compared with $3,187 for non-users

Citation: A Randomized Trial of a Mental Health Consumer-Managed Alternative to Civil Commitment for Acute Psychiatric Crisis. American Journal of Community Psychology. (2008)

Findings:

■ Respite guests experienced greater improvements in self-esteem, self-rated mental health symptoms, and social activity functioning compared to individuals in inpatient facilities
Citation: Findings from a consumer/survivor defined alternative to psychiatric hospitalization. Outlook. (Vol. Spring 2002)

I did want to mention, however, there are numerous other studies. Here are just 4 published titles: LA County Innovation Peer-Run Model Cost Analysis. Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health (LACDMH). (2016); Innovation (INN) Program Evaluation of the Peer-Run Model. Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health (LACDMH). (2015); The Impact of a Consumer Run Hospital Diversion Program on Quality of Life and Recovery: A Comparative Study. Albany, NY: College of Saint Rose Institute for Community Research and Training. (2009); Evaluation of a peer‐run hospital diversion program: A descriptive study. American Journal of Psychiatric Rehabilitation. (2011)

For more information on peer respites see Research — Peer Respites where I got the information shared in this blog. I did want to mention, however, there are numerous other studies. Here are a sampling of some published titles: LA County Innovation Peer-Run Model Cost Analysis. Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health (LACDMH). (2016); Innovation (INN) Program Evaluation of the Peer-Run Model. Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health (LACDMH). (2015); The Impact of a Consumer Run Hospital Diversion Program on Quality of Life and Recovery: A Comparative Study. Albany, NY: College of Saint Rose Institute for Community Research and Training. (2009); Evaluation of a peer‐run hospital diversion program: A descriptive study. American Journal of Psychiatric Rehabilitation. (2011)

Lastly, everything you want to know about peer respites but might have had some fears about asking are found on Directory of Peer Respites – National Empowerment Center (power2u.org), including information on the 32 peer respites currently operating in the U.S., many additional research findings, how to start a peer run respite, and crisis alternatives (e.g., warm lines, etc).

sometimes there is a short story worth telling. I think I have one of those.

Here is what happened. As fate had it I emailed Bob Whitacker a very brief proposed project which I was happy to lead or assist with in case MIA was already doing something similar. I will slightly shorten Bob’s response to share that he wrote “I do appreciate your writing and your suggestion, but I know that there isn’t the energy at MIA to take on something of this scope.” So I emailed back “wondering” if I could “lighten the load”.

Bob responded “… Mad in America is peripherally involved with helping Rethinking Psychiatry organizing a series of five presentations in Sundays in October related to Soteria and respite houses. The leader there is Grace Silvia, and I know they are looking for help promoting the events on social media, etc. I thought of you, and mentioned to Grace that I knew someone who might be willing to help. Could I give Grace your name?

I had never heard of Grace Silvia but if Bob points me in a direction, I am going to go- given I had a little time to do an extra project for MIA and while Bob decides what I might do for MIA I can assist someone else. The next day (Sunday) I spoke with Grace for 30 minutes and the day after that I understood more deeply what she and her team needed.

They were convening the first International Peer Respite and Soteria Summit: Creating Compassionate Alternatives for People in Crisis and Distress. The Summit was virtual on every Sunday in October (3, 10, 17, 24 & 31) from 12pm- 3pm ET. Bob Whitaker was moderatoring four impressive speakers on Day 1. Okay, I’m getting hooked.

If you are not familiar with peer respite or Soteria House, or you need a refresher as I did mostly because I needed to hear their conceptualization and approach for this Summit, below, is some of their informational material which I found quite helpful.

The Soteria House and peer respite models are both ways of supporting individuals in extreme states. Both models allow individuals to stay voluntarily in a homelike environment, and come and go as they please, while enjoying 24-7 support from non-clinical staff. Neither model forces people to take drugs yet both have been documented to be very successful at helping people avoid psychiatric hospitalizations.

David Oaks once called the founder of the first Soteria House, Dr. Loren Mosher. M.D., the ‘Schindler of our people." Former residents of both types of houses say that their experiences and what they learned was life changing. Come find out more about these incredibly promising alternatives to forced psychiatry from experts, including people with lived experience. Even better, find out what you need to know to bring a Soteria House or a peer respite to your community!

Collectively, we have the power to build safe places in every community in the world, replacing the use of force and coercion in the mental health system!

Okay, I hooked full on. On the 3rd day after meeting Grace (Tuesday, Sept 21, 2021) I began my short-term project. I will say that Grace is a visionary, process person which is lovely but I said to her on our 2nd time meeting via phone, I am strategic, intentional and goal-oriented. I like to know where I am going and why I am going there. I asked her how much money she wanted raised by Oct 31, 2021 (the last day of the Summit). I told Grace I saw this as the end date of my involvement. I think she was completely taken aback by this question of How much money? I really loved her responses, after some brief befundlement, she said “$15,000, is that doable?”

I had my marching orders. By the way I do love process but there is a time for process and there is a time for A-C-T-I-O-N!! And I am a woman who likes to get things D-O-N-E, especially this project and this 6 week time frame. I have not had this type of challenge in a few years.

Grace is working with a highly experienced and knowledgeable team of 5 people to fundraise. They had not raised any money yet via asking people to donate, however, they had somewhat of an organized plan to do so. Grace sent me the nicely laid out table of who was asking whom for money or an in-kind donation.

Their funding needs were very basis and clearly thought out. Assistance was needed for American Sign language (ASL) interpretation, editing the video of the Summit’s sessions, some web development, and post summit $5,000 was needed for monthly offerings of technical assistance and support they were going to continue to provide for groups who wanted to develop a peer respite or Soteria House in their community. Very honorable intentions, I could clearly see how this stellar group of volunteers had, over the years, developed Rethinking Psychiatry into a powerhouse-in-becoming. And they partnered with MindFreedom to bring about this Summit. The National Empowerment Center (NEC) was their fiscal sponsor for the Summit, so the money simply passes through NEC. Being a fiscal sponsor is never really that simple but for the purposes of this blog we will leave it at that. It takes time, energy and resource but most of us are psychiatric survivors so we get it. It is about love and passion and not about Money. It is about making the world right, accessible, inclusive, juste and healthy. All the honorable intentions on my check-list are being met. The stars are alligned for this project!!!! A few more stars and a few more dollars would help but we are on our way.

Leah Harris taught me a few things about FUNdraising. I witnessed her do it with enthusiasm and great passion. I am thinking specifically when Will Hall did his Go-Fund-Me and Leah led that effort very successfully to my great delight. It funded the writing of Will’s latest book which I hesitate to say I suggested he write a while back.

The other important lesson I learned about fundraising came from working on the Sunrise Center, an RC.org project to help people get off psychiatric drugs. I learned that fundraisng was about fun, it was about making the world the way you want it.

Day 1 of my engaging the Summit fundraising team, Tue, Sep 21, 2021 at 8:14 AM the email subject line was:

“SUMMIT — FUNDRAISING GOAL $15,000 by Oct 31, 2021, We’ve got this!!!!”

Part of the email I sent is copied below.

GOOD MORNING!!!!!!

My FUNdraising thought this morning is IF someone – who????- could do a go-fund me. I have a sense that A LOT of people would give a little bit.

Yes? Maybe? Thoughts?

In the meantime here is our up-to-date data thanks to Judene Shelley at NEC:

1) How many people have registered so far? 149-the number changes each day

2) How many people are you expecting to participate/attend the Summit? 300-500 people

3) How much have we raised so far – including donations from people who registered? All from people who registered, $1,500

And shortly after that email I sent another one which was my first “update” email.

I just got off the phone with Al (Galves). He previously sent a request to his 1st org for $500 with marketing materials. For his 2nd & 3rd org (listed on the organizing sheet) he is going to ask for $1,000 and he is thinking about having someone join him in a conference-call ask.

and I just donated $1,000.

peer-respite / Soteria is one of the greatest loves of my life. When I worked for the NCMHR I LOVED speaking to legislators and their staff about it and they loved hearing about it – with outcome data of course- especially when there was one in their state.

KNOW, please, that we can and will reach this goal.

ENVISION IT, EMBODY IT

Collectively, we have the power to build safe places in every community in the world, replacing the use of force and coercion in the mental health system!

ls

Dear readers, you too can be part of this historic 1st International Peer Respite and Soteria Summit: Creating Compassionate Alternatives for People in Crisis and Distress.

As of 9/22/21: $3,395 raised, 190 people registered.

Contributions of any amount are very much appreciated. Please press the “Register here” button.

https://www.alternatives-conference.org/peerrespitesoteriasummit

We lost a giant today — a woman who, more than anyone else in my life, taught me what it meant to live a life of courage, integrity, thinking outside the box and how to be genuine while also strategic in building relationships that have had a huge impact on the world. Janet Foner was one of the most remarkable people I have ever had the pleasure to know and to work with.

My first significant memory of her was over 20 years ago during a Re-evaluation Counseling mental health liberation weekend workshop which Janet led. She held a 7am support group for ex-psychiatric inmates and it was my first time ever going to such a group. She took turns “counseling” us one at a time surrounded by everyone else. She knew my mental health story (from previous interactions) yet in my turn she asked me to say “There was never anything wrong with me.” It shocked me and struck me as a completely wild and crazy idea, given that she knew I had been labeled with chronic schizophrenia by more than one psychiatrist and I had been on and off psychopharmaceuticals for many years. I thought her direction to me was absolutely ridiculous, yet, she was a worldwide leader whom I deeply respected and trusted. So what was I to do but to try and say this “There was never anything wrong with me.” Well I said it, in this small and safe group, with affect that was flat as a pancake. Janet said, “Say it like you mean it” and she stayed with me in a loving and supportive way, urging me to take it in, to consider that notion. She never pushed hard. And over the many years that I (and hundreds of others) worked with her within the RC community she always created a safe and respectful space, inviting us to consider new ways of cleaning our perceptual lens and working towards the world we wanted to create.

That giant contradiction Janet gave me; honestly, it was a struggle for me to even try to begin to wrap my mind around it. And who was she to know better than “the experts” — the psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers and virtually every mental health professional I had ever known. It was confusing. She was a force to be reckoned with. She was the embodiment of a radical contradiction to everything I had ever been taught about mental health. Might I add that at this time I had a masters degree in psychology and about 15 years of working in the field when she offered me this “There was never anything wrong with me” contradiction? Who do I trust? This wiry-haired mad-looking woman who had radical ideas about capitalism, the pharmaceutical industrial complex and oppression and who offered a vision of the world as inclusive, loving and socially and economically just.

I have worked hard and intentionally on my liberation for the (now) 29 years I have been involved in the RC community. It took me a few years to begin to wrap my mind around her radical concept and a few more years to embody the reality that in fact there was never anything wrong with me. The seed she planted began to bear big, meaningful fruit. I could see my real and genuine self separate from the mental health oppression that had been heaped on me from my earliest memories. I am not the sum of all the patterned ways I was taught to think and feel.

It is only because of the work I did with Janet Foner and other worldwide RC mental health liberation leaders (who, like me, supported Janet’s work, her brilliant mind and counseling skills) over many years that I was able to take a leap of faith and become the director of the National Coalition of Mental Health Recovery (NCMHR). In that role I got to take on — full force — the heaps of oppression that get spewed at every opportunity in the U.S. and the oppressive mindset that most people believe as “truth.” In my role I got to share my story on Capitol Hill and within many programs of the Federal Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, of being misunderstood and mistreated, and to educate decision-makers and legislators about NCMHR’s policy priorities in order to create a more helpful, more healing and more inclusive mental health system of care. And I could lead the NCMHR from my heart, with compassion, because I came to understand the social, economic and political dynamics of oppression as well as to see through that dysfunctional lens and lead us towards a path of liberation.

I am and will always continue to be eternally grateful for Janet’s tenacity and courage to bring diverse leaders together and teach many thousands of people around the world about Mental Health Liberation. Many people do not know that Janet helped form the very early Alternatives Conferences in the U.S. and she co-founded MindFreedom International and to this day she continued serving on its board. As she said in a speech she gave at MindFreedom’s Creative Revolution conference in 2007:

I remind David periodically that it is the depth of mental health oppression that is keeping us from moving forward as fast as we originally thought we would. I remind him that many of us have had years of heavy psychiatric drugs, electroshock, seclusion, four point restraint, etc. in the mental health system, and that that has made it more difficult to organize ourselves than some other movements.

But I also want to remind us that they took their best shots at us and failed, they did not get us down, they didn’t stop us, and they can’t, because we know more than they do about recovery. They assume that no one can recover, and we know people can, because we have done it, and helped others do it, too. The system repeats the same old record over and over: you are sick, there is something wrong with you, you will never get better, you can’t make it in society, you will need drugs forever. We know that those old records that play the same song over and over have proved to be useless and non-productive. In contrast, what we do is powerful, and healing. We can think around and outside of the system, and that puts us in a much better position to change things for the better.

We are the pioneers, making a space in the world for our work and our dreams to happen.

From David Oaks:

Janet Foner: Thanks for Your Lifetime of Mental Health Liberation, and Three Decades of Wonderful Friendship!

This is hard to do. I miss you! I valued our regular Facetimes, with you in Harrisburg, PA and me in Oregon. Recently, I talked about updating and reissuing a poster you created many years ago for MindFreedom International. By far, this was our most popular piece of public education, appearing on walls all over the world:

Title: “The 10 Warning Signs of Normality”

Readers of that humorous poster would not know that this was based on part of one of your actual workshops, which I had the pleasure of attending several times, about what is this thing we call “normality” and why do so many in the public believe it exists?

Spoiler alert: Janet talked about so-called normality as the “average of the ruling class’s distress patterns.”

I first met Janet back in 1988 in Portland, Oregon at the biggest conference ever held by the National Association for Rights Protection & Advocacy. I was giving a fun little workshop about playing a game where we each took an identity of an oppressed group, and together created a revolution. Janet asked me why don’t we do this in reality?

I got to know Janet better as we met with more and more other psychiatric survivors and allies, planning a counter-conference to the American Psychiatric Association Annual Meeting in New York City in May, 1990. I especially recall a moment in the hallway during our event, at the new youth hostel, when Janet affirmed my own leadership in this movement. For years the word “leader” had been suspect in our field, which often substituted the word “elitist.”

Janet, your support and wisdom helped me learn that we all, everyone on Earth, need to have our leadership affirmed for nonviolent planetary revolution for the liberation of all, nature included.

You see, the founders of MindFreedom did not just pick a word that would resonate. Janet believed that with enough empowering support any of us, at any moment, can have a mind free enough to choose liberation.

Janet’s friendship and support became, I discovered, a bedrock that could never, ever be diminished. I learned that Janet wrote her Master’s dissertation on building a humane alternative to mental health. I enjoyed seeing the complex and beautiful quilts this artist created. I got to know and love Janet’s family, her two sons and beloved husband Mayer.

While my connection with Janet was mainly through MFI and our close friendship, her MFI work was actually only part of her “mental health system survivor” liberation leadership, as she called it. Janet kept this very separate from MFI, but she treasured her decades of close work with Re-evaluation Counseling, a peer-based support organization created in the 1950’s. Janet felt that RC saved her life, and she was an international leader in that other nonprofit. While not my cup of tea, I met many warm and wise people involved in RC, and valued and respected much that they offer liberation groups in the “Wide World” as movements such as ours are known in RC.

After my injury and profound disability, you made several trips here to visit and always knew how to have fun, as well as offer healing words.

Janet, you have been one of my closest and deepest friends in my life. Your amazing wisdom, no-nonsense strength, vision of Earth as we could be, decades of leadership on the MFI board, and so much more will be missed.

As never before, may your life call to others to find their leadership for nonviolent planetary revolution. Now!

Janet, you loved movies with a smart message and humor. During one of our last Facetime talks, you recommended a documentary with a title that readers of this brief tribute — and there will be more — will probably appreciate:

“If You’re Not in the Obit, Eat Breakfast”

This week we e-release this new free booklet, Pathways to Enhance Well-Being, https://wp.me/a3I81E-41. The evolving story provides an example of how we can follow the life pulse that moves through us – in this case – it moved through the three co-authors and manifests something new that we hope will be helpful for many people. My co-creators and I, and seemingly the stars too, were aligned on this project. For each of us, our life story has in large part been about finding pathways to enhance our own well-being and to assist others in doing the same. We came together with heart-based and soul-based intention to share some of the practices that have transformed our lives, opening our bodies and minds which allowed joy and passion to flow through us. We don’t write about our transformative process in the booklet but make no mistake – this is the energy that flowed through us and we hope that you, the reader, can feel in yourself as you expand or deepen your use of body/mind/spirit practices.

Our work, and our lives, give us many opportunities to recalibrate our steps to remain aligned with our deepest intentions. It is delightful to share with you one of the first responses to releasing the booklet. A senior manager in a large behavioral health organization stated, “Right now I am envisioning it (the booklet) being used in our Recovery Education Centers. I am going to present it to the team leaders and have them develop a class around it. Once this is done we will facilitate a class (usually 12 weeks long) in each center.”

The pre-birth of the booklet began with Linda sharing with me some of the barriers she experienced as she moved towards bringing alternative approaches (eg, meditation, breath practices, etc.) into state psychiatric institutions. Perhaps, in part, it was because she was a peer, a person with lived experience of a labeled mental health condition, she and her “techniques” were not taken seriously. Knowing that Linda had for some years been successful in bringing these approaches into the peer community I suggested we ask Peggy to look at the research on the effectiveness of these approaches on people labeled with a mental health condition. Perhaps, if there was hard data Linda could present that to the “professional” clinical staff it would help her make inroads to bringing these practices to a resistent institutional culture.

Peggy did a thorough review of the research literature on 13 different alternative approaches. Six approaches had the most significant data. We created one-pagers that shared the data. Linda’s Advisory Board said they wanted a back page to have a specific example of each approach. All this was done, edited, printed and we were finished – at least we thought so.

Some months later we came up with the idea of putting the 6 one-pagers into a booklet. Now around this time one of the state psychiatric institutions, where Linda had been trying to expand Toivo’s Healing From Within program, very suddenly fired and/or put on administrative leave 50 of their staff due to very public allegations of abuse and neglect. Understandably this increased the stress level of both people working in and incarcerated in the institution. Linda continued reaching out to them to allow more people (patients as well as staff) to participate in the alternative approach healing sessions that she offered (at no cost) weekly on-site. This lead to them contracting with Toivo, Linda’s employer, to offer Healing From Within groups on their inpatient units to both people receiving services as well as staff.

On a separate note, over 600 state mental health workers have been trained in Toivo’s Healing From Within alternative approaches to wellness.

Over some months the co-authors continued editing, making formatting and graphic decisions. Peggy brought in Patricia Nemec to put it all together into the booklet format you see.

Human Connection is the Antidote to a Culture of Isolation

By Lauren Spiro

December 21, 2017

When the U.S. Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy, was asked what the biggest disease in America was, he stated: “It’s not cancer, it’s not heart disease, it is the pronounced isolation that so many people are experiencing that is the great pathology of our lives today.”1 Thomas L. Friedman, Pulitzer prize-winning author and journalist with The New York Times, stated: “How ironic, we are the most technologically connected generation in human history, and yet more people feel more isolated than ever. The connections that matter most and that are most in short supply today are the human-to-human ones.”

I want to offer some thoughts and some hope about a process I think we are all undergoing. On the one hand, we see disruption all around us. Unsustainable systems are collapsing, resulting in an acceleration of the breakdown of our community, social, economic and political infrastructure; which, for some, leads to a fear-based amplification of prejudice and fear and a clinging to isolation and silo or wall-building.

On the other hand, however, increasingly people feel a deep sense of purpose that is activating our greatest gifts. We sense that something new, hopeful and empowering is in the process of emerging. Apparently, we need to burn through some darkness before we collectively see the light. The light is a palpable shift toward reaching for human connection; toward opening our hearts and our minds and intentionally focusing on the positive future that wants to emerge. We engage our curiosity, compassion, and courage and reconnect with our shared humanity. People are stepping up, sharing their vulnerability and wisdom and embodying a renewed sense of empowered, cooperative leadership. This is the elevation of our shared humanity.

We are increasingly engaged and experiencing profound social and personal transformation. We are realizing our essential nature and reaching for human connection within and beyond ourselves and realizing that there is nothing to fight against. We are directly engaging in co-innovating and evolving to a more just humanity and a more sustainable democracy.

Moving from the 40,000 foot perspective to an on-the-ground, personal perspective, what does this mean?

Human beings have been making war for a long time in many cultures, meaning in many minds, because the culture is a reflection of the mind. It is noteworthy to state here that there is clear and compelling historical evidence that when matrifocal societies dominated the planet there was no evidence of war. However, in our current patrifocal societies, there is no escaping the damage of war — whether we are aware of the damage or not.

I am coming to a clearer understanding that when I am not at peace in my own mind, I am waging an internal war and that war is projected onto others whether I am aware of broadcasting this or not.

The war in my head (judgment, wall building) can be framed around a variety of battles — it can be framed around the ancient and false belief that I am not good enough or smart enough, or if that other person would do something correctly or if this condition or that condition were met then all would be worked out and peaceful. I have constructed a story that tints the lens through which I see myself, others, our relationships, and the world.

If I remain unaware of how I have tinted the lens, and I remain stuck in the fear-based story, the conditions for peace will not be met. Peace is revealed in the absence of war — in the absence of isolation, fear, the illusion of separation and judgments.

If we look more deeply, we can see that the source of this war comes from the belief that we are some thing that is separate from others. This lesson that we are taught from an early age, this sense of separation and human disconnection, is so pervasive and integrated into the threads of our culture that it makes it hard to see. This experience of human disconnection, a separation of self from self and self from others, is a fundamental concept in both trauma-informed practice and in Emotional CPR (eCPR). The impact of trauma and human disconnection played out in my own early childhood, for example, by my experiencing such a profound lack of safety that it resulted in my clinging to anyone who offered safety and anything that could numb the pain.

Another result of the belief that we are some thing and this thing is separate from each other is that we get focused on protecting this thing. Whatever the thing is — our territory, our home, our family — we protect it and hold onto fear, anger and revenge, and we wait for someone else to do something differently so that we think we can find peace.

Our tinted lens reinforces the idea that that other person is different — separate from me. And this separation perpetuates conflict and war. It perpetuates the war in my head which perpetuates the war I wage with others. Inner war creates global war.

When I am practicing eCPR or genuine human connecting I am looking not from the lens of ego but from a deeper level. Meaning, I am not judging nor labeling but rather seeing the reality (under the illusion) which is that there is nothing to protect. I focus on perceiving the other person in their full humanity. The distress the person is expressing is a particular patterned way that this person’s internal war has escalated. As a supporter or listener I focus on being with them on a genuine level and assisting them in finding what is true or genuine about themselves — meaning what is deeper than the social mask they have identified as being them but is not the genuine them; it is the learned them, the ego.

I do this by seeing the genuine person underneath her lens, underneath the social conditioning, underneath her story. And when we do this we are perceiving or ‘being’ underneath our own lens. From this place, where peace is revealed in the deep connection of two people, I mirror back the best I see in her, my great hope for her, my belief in her, my knowing that together, in this moment, we will move through this.

For more on this process, see: “When the war in our mind ends, peace emerges.”

We are born and innately wired for human connection. It is a simple process but often it is not easy. If you focus and put your intention on it you will re-find it; it will emerge. Here is a beautifully simple example of a stranger successfully reaching for another person: “When Train Riders Moved Away From Passenger, This Woman Held His Hand.”

I end with two simple and eloquent quotes from Albert Einstein: “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them” and “The ideals that have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth.”

Club Business International (CBI), October 2017