Dialogues as a Way of Transforming Consciousness: Results from Three Teleconference Dialogues of Discovery held in 2015

Introduction: Why facilitate dialogues?

Dialogues are an effective process in bridging an illusionary divide. Any group anywhere can follow a dialogue format and propose questions for inquiry and reflection. Dialogues are relatively easy to convene and they typically result in participants establishing deep connections with one another, having new insights and enhancing one’s knowledge and skills about how to be or work in partnership with others.

I have been convening dialogues with people who have been labeled with a mental health condition as well as with those who have not in a way that invites transforming consciousness. Convening people of different perspectives or cultures to explore our thinking and our wisdom creates sparks of insight that ignite new thinking and moves us beyond our cultural conditioning.

In this safe and open space we discover how to move beyond cultural constraints and understand how we are more deeply connected than we may have realized. We evolve forward as we begin to see new synergies for creating elegant solution to the opportunities we face. The opportunities themselves become invitations to expand our minds and tap into a new fertile ground of unlimited possibilities.

My journey of recovery and liberation has led me to deeply embody inner peace and find that I am drawn to create peace in relationships and in community and, in turn, to create global peace. My intention is to support others on their journeys to inner peace, harmony, joy and being creative stewards of humanity. I am finding that the more my heart is aligned with my highest vision the more I am able to transform wisdom into action.

Although the series of dialogues summarized here was primarily but not exclusively comprised of “mental health” service recipients subsequent dialogues have been mostly with broad community participation and “mental health” services users were in the minority. Everyone is impacted by the forces to conform to how our society defines “normal”, whether we are aware of it or not. The impact is typically a suppression of emotions, a reluctance to getting close with people particularly people of a cultural background different from ourselves and a sense of being confined by conventional thinking. In addition, our culture thrives on the illusion of separation and competition. How safe are we to be our authentic self? How safe are we to reach out to others from our heart?

The overall outcome of the dialogues – as participants stated – was a sense of connectedness around the human and spiritual qualities we share. Many spoke about the desire for deeper connections, for support and for a sense of belonging in community.

Summary Findings

What participants said about the Dialogues of Discovery:

¨ We change each other easier than we think. Being on this call and hearing other peoples’ heart-felt exploration is changing and expanding me in ways I never expected! I really appreciate it.

¨ I see the truth of who we are and we are not our diagnoses. There is not a disorder in me but a gift… to use as blessings for the world. I appreciate the opportunity for all of us to come together and share our authentic self.

¨ I loved the variety of voices from all over the country!

¨ I learned so much about not only listening, but hearing…The comments were enlightening.

¨ The dialogue enabled me to look deeper into myself to see who I am and who I can be.

¨ I found deeper connections related to relationships. Appreciated the many different ways of looking at emotions, spirit, soul – and seeing the common thread that runs throughout all the different perspectives.

The series of three free dialogues was advertized via email. All dialogues were open to anyone who wanted to join. The process for each of the three ninety minute teleconference dialogues was the same. After brief introductions of all participants, the dialogue approach was explained, and then we had a participatory process to establish a safe space. People expressed what would help them feel comfortable sharing, many people spoke about what they needed to feel safe and not judged so people could speak honestly and an agreement was made to maintain confidentiality. Since we could not see each other, we used a telephone “talking stick” meaning one person at a time had an opportunity to share their thinking regarding the topic of the dialogue. The teleconference dialogues were held one month apart in January, February and March of 2015. The topics were, respectively:

1. Who were you born to be?

2. Exploring the relationship between emotions and the soul.

3. What is your life’s purpose and how are you embodying that day-to-day?

One hundred and ten people registered for the dialogues and approximately 45 people participated in at least one dialogue. Approximately 30% of the participants of each dialogue responded to an anonymous evaluation. The following is an aggregate summary of the three dialogues as reported by participants.

The vast majority of participants reported that the dialogues were valuable and that as a result of the dialogue, something changed for them or they will do something differently. For example responses included:

¨ I will speak with more love and positiveness.

¨ I will look beyond what I am not and focus on who I can be as a man and as an active, contributing member of society.

¨ I will be real and authentic with others and more open to giving and receiving love.

¨ Other people’s words helped me find focus and vocabulary for ideas that I had floating around in my head.

¨ Increase my belief and value of healing happening in relationship versus alone.

The vast majority of participants reported that they felt safe on the dialogue.

Ninety-five percent of respondents reported an interest in participating in future virtual learning opportunities. They shared ideas for topics of interest.

¨ Peer Support and how it is different than friendship.

¨ Life changes – how to handle them; discovering yourself

¨ Strengths of recovery. Learning language to communicate with providers

¨ What brings you joy? What does freedom mean to you?

¨ Time management; how to shore self up doing peer work; burnout; needing peer support myself, yet being seen as someone who only provides it… dealing with difficult emotions and self sabotage

¨ Balance and Harmony in one’s life

¨ What is peace?

¨ Confidence

¨ Competence

¨ Ways to achieve better harmony, balance, and health in the communities in which I live.

¨ Peer interaction for individuals who have, are or are considering getting off psych meds. A place to discuss experiences and hope.

¨ What really helps me change or succeed?

¨ What guides us in our lives and why… What ways have we found to connect with ourselves and others on a deeper level

Most respondents were interested in being part of an ongoing virtual community. They shared what they would want from it:

¨ Emotional support

¨ Learn from others by exploration and discussion on relevant topics

¨ Having access to support where I could speak honestly

¨ Rich sharing, inspiration, deeper integration of new answers to these vital life questions

The dialogue format created a space for participants to have an inner dialogue (intrapersonal) more than an external (interpersonal) dialogue. The process encouraged participants to get in touch with their inner wisdom by observing the interaction of their own mind and their emotions and to focus more on listening and not be distracted by feeling a need to respond to what was said or to question what someone shared. The sense of safety may have been enhanced by understanding that whatever someone said would not be questioned by others in the virtual circle. Many of us discovered that when we open our hearts and listen deeply we change each other easily.

For more information email laurenspiro1 or visit https://laurenspiro.wordpress.com/calendar/ for dialogue-like offerings

Simple Steps to Transforming Consciousness and Moving Beyond Cultural Constraints

Since stepping down as the director of the National Coalition for Mental Health Recovery in mid-2014 I find myself being called to bridge an illusionary divide. I am bringing together people who have been labeled with a mental health condition and those who have not in a way that invites transforming consciousness. Convening people of different perspectives to explore our thinking and our wisdom creates sparks of insight that ignite new thinking and moves us beyond our cultural constraints.

In this safe and open space we discover that we are more deeply connected than we may have realized. We evolve forward as we begin to see new possibilities and synergies for creating solutions to the challenges we face. The challenges themselves become invitations to expand our minds and tap into a new fertile ground of unlimited possibilities.

My journey of recovery and liberation – a deeply transforming experience – has led me to embody inner peace and find that I am drawn to create peace in relationships and in community and, in turn, to create global peace. My intention is to support others on their journeys to inner peace, harmony, joy and being creative stewards of humanity. I am finding that the more my heart is aligned with my highest vision the more I am able to transform wisdom into action.

In January, 2015 I facilitated a series of three in-person Dialogues of Discovery, held one week apart. The dialogues were open to any woman who wanted to join any one or more of them. I decided to hold the first series with women only to increase the chance of creating a safe space to share their authentic voice. Each dialogue had a question. Dialogue 1: Who are you? Who were you born to be? We explored who we are beneath our social mask, roles, ego & attachments. Dialogue 2: What is the relationship between our emotions and our soul? What is your essence and how do you express it? The group agreed that our emotions are a pathway to the soul. Dialogue 3: Envisioning and creating the world you want. What is your life’s mission and how are you embodying that day to day? Some of us shared our personal mission statement and all of us shared the steps we are taking to create the world or the life we want.

To begin each dialogue I shared some brief thoughts and then opened the circle for personal reflection, investigation and sharing. To open the 3rd dialogue I read from the poet Kabir: “Do I experience myself as a light in this world? Do I operate from this premise? When I set sail in the morning for a day at sea, is this the wind that propels me?”

Ann Potter gave permission to share her personal mission statement which she prepared for Dialogue #3, To be awake to my life during the good, the bad and the ugly. And to not harden in my awakeness but to soften into it continually. Each dialogue was filled with sharing of emotion, thoughts and spiritual beliefs.

All dialogue participants wanted to continue our investigation, deepen our connections and include younger women so we may broaden the sharing of diverse perspectives and build bridges. All dialogue participants agreed to our next step which is a half-day retreat in February 2015 titled “Expressing Your Essence: Sharing our Collective Wisdom” and it will include women across a broad age span.

The same three in-person Dialogue of Discovery topics discussed above are currently being held in a teleconference format. The first one (Who were you born to be?) was held Jan 27, 2015 and here is what people said about it.

We change each other easier than we think. Being on this call and hearing other peoples’ heart-felt exploration is changing and expanding me in ways I never expected! I really appreciate it. – Margaret, New York

I see the truth of who we are and we are not our diagnoses. There is not a disorder in me but a gift… to use as blessings for the world. I appreciate the opportunity for all of us to come together and share our authentic self. – Julia Robles Scott, California

Tele-dialogue #1 began with brief introductions of all participants, then the features of dialogue were explained, after which we had a participatory process to establish a safe space. People expressed what would make them feel comfortable sharing, many people spoke about what they needed to feel safe and not judged so people could speak honestly and an agreement was made to maintain confidentiality. Then everyone had an opportunity to share their thinking regarding the question Who were you born to be? Since we couldn’t see each other one person at a time spoke as we went around the virtual circle.

Twenty-four people from across the U.S. participated. Eleven people responded to an anonymous survey emailed out immediately after the dialogue and some samples of their responses are below. A large majority answered all questions positively and also expressed an interest in more tele-dialogues.

In response to the question Was the dialogue valuable? If yes, how?

• An exercise in listening deeply. Exposure to others’ paths. Witness to a process of bringing "strangers" together in a framework of safety and support to share at whatever level they desire.
• I always enjoy learning from others people perspectives, and experiencing connection with people on their unique journeys.

In response to the question As a result of the dialogue, will you do something differently?

• Increase my belief and value of healing happening in relationship versus alone.
• I will try to be more open to giving and receiving love like some people mentioned.

In response to the question Areyouinterested in more teleconferencedialogues? If yes, what topics would you like to explore, individual comments included:

• What brings you joy? What does freedom mean to you?
• Time management; how to shore self up doing peer work; burnout; needing peer support myself, yet being seen as someone who only provides it… dealing with difficult emotions and self sabotage…
• Balance and Harmony in ones life
• Confidence
• Competence

In response to the question Are you interested in being part of an ongoing virtual community that addresses topics like this dialogue? If yes, what would want from it, individual comments included:

• Having access to support where I could open up and talk about things
• Learn from others
• Ways to achieve better harmony, balance, and health in the communities in which I live
• Peer interaction for individuals who have, are or are considering getting off psych meds. A place to discuss experiences and hope.

The teleconference Dialoguesof Discovery to Share Our Collective Wisdom: Think, Listen and

Share are free* and open to everyone. I am learning that indeed small and simple steps may lead to transforming consciousness and moving beyond cultural constraints

REGISTER FOR DIALOGUE #2
What is the Relationship Between Our Emotions and Our Soul?

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/dialogues-of-discovery-2-what-is-the-relationship-between-our-emotions-and-our-soul-registration-14891711510

Tuesday, February 24, 2015 from 3:00 PM to 4:30 PM (EST)

REGISTER FOR DIALOGUE #3
Envisioning and Creating the World You Want

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/dialogues-of-discovery-3-envisioning-and-creating-the-world-you-want-registration-14891732573
Tuesday, March 24, 2015 from 3:00 PM to 4:30 PM (EDT)

*To join the Dialogues, click the links above, which will register you for each session and provide a conference number and access code in the confirmation email. This is not a toll-free number.If you do not have free long-distance service, a nominal charge may apply. Check with your phone service provider for applicable rates to the 605 area code.

This blog is a response to Matthew Cohen’s comment of concern based on Lauren’s “Racism 101” blog which is found on www.madinamerica.com.

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts Matthew and in particular for pointing out – and I agree with you – what can easily be interpreted as my being naïve, ignorant and colorblind- which I don’t think I am but words and context matter. I offer a bit more context and explanation below and I have copied your comments of concern for ease of following this discussion.

Matthew wrote “I want to express some confusion and concern about your repeated suggestion that we “imagine a world without racism and live your life that way.”

To my eyes, this could be taken as support for liberal “colorblindness” where we pretend racism does not exist and think that merely by working to treat people of color with respect on an individual basis, we are contributing to ending racism”.

I would like to explain that quite a few years ago I was so concerned about the rampant racism I saw operating in “mental health” settings (and elsewhere) that I wanted to create opportunities to address this head on. One action step I took was to provide training in cultural competency/attunement with an African American partner and we created this phrase “imagine a world without racism and live your life that way” as a means of inviting people to transcend their social conditioning and think and act differently – in non-racist ways. Our interactive trainings addressed racism head-on particularly on a personal and interpersonal level and at this level and in the manner we did the training there were always clear implications for both policy and systems level change that was needed.

The intent of the invitation is to take the time to ‘be’ different. It is not about being colorblind but the opposite – seeing all of the colors and hues. Our trainings created a safe space to explore racism. Each participant shared rich information including their cultural heritage, who they are, what they think, how their family came to North America, etc. The space that was opened was one in which everyone could show their caring for each other. Typically the trainings were provided to organizations or programs within organizations so people knew each other to varying extents. The process involved engaging our innate curious inquiry and heart-felt compassion to reach for a deep connection, for deeper understanding. In this way we experienced individually and collectively an opening up of our minds which allowed for more honestly, cultural sensitivity and authenticity in our professional and personal relationships.

What I see pervasively practiced in our culture is people wearing a protective perceptual lens based on their illusion of fear and separation. Racism is one part of the multi-oppression based fear and separation. That learned (not innate) perceptual lens gets fueled by our increasing out-of-control capitalism including the exploitation of all things human and environmental which contributes to the increased violence and disrespect for humanity that currently exists. Sadly and ironically I find that much of my work in the world is about re-learning how to be human and humane and I often do this by facilitating dialogues of discovery. Dialogues create opportunities to evolve our consciousness forward by creating a space where our hearts and minds are open, there is no application of judgment and everyone’s thinking is accurate based on the individual’s perception. Ideally what is created is a synchronistic and harmonious coming together which is hard to describe unless you have experienced this. The ideal outcome of dialogue is that it lifts us to transcend our cultural conditioning and become aware of the following processes:

– Sometimes (probably more often that we like to admit) we notice that our thinking gets stuck on a particular belief (e.g., based on racism, mental health oppression, etc.) or ideology that we have not thoroughly examined and let go. It may indicate that more reflection may deepen our awareness or self-knowledge.

– We see other ways of thinking and being in the world as valid and good – and that means that more possibilities and relationships open up. Our heart and mind expand, our perceptual barriers dissolve. We see life more clearly.

– When we transcend our social conditioning we become more open to co-creating a new paradigm. In this fertile ground of openness, we think more creatively and therefore can more effectively co-create the communities we want. When the war in our mind ends, peace emerges. And yes, racism in one of the ways we wage war in our mind.

Practicing this process (opening my heart and mind in a process of liberation) allows me to envision a world without racism – or any oppression for that matter. Embodying hope, I can see a world made up of culturally rich and inclusive communities where every one is respected and valued and given the dignity they deserve.

On a separate note, I think the excellent article which you cited (“12 Things White People Can Actually Do After the Ferguson Decision” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-david-j-leonard/12-things-white-people-ca_b_6222784.html) has many important actions that people can take and should select some of these actions to take if they want to work towards racial justice and perhaps to begin to work on the edges of their own white racism.

There was one action step in the article you cited that I thought was particularly interesting and relatively easy to do so I copied it below. Can you imagine how we might contribute to ending racist police policies and actions if a lot of white people staeted filming these injustices?

8. If You See Injustice Occurring, Do Not Stand Silently or Walk on By. Do you see police officers engaging in a stop-and-frisk interaction? It turns out that it is entirely legal to film police interactions without interfering. Hold police accountable. Watch them. They may be less likely to engage in outright violence if they are being filmed. If not, the video can be critical evidence as police can claim that they were being assaulted, or charge disorderly conduct, when video evidence clearly refutes these claims. There are apps and organizations that accumulate these videos and data. Use them.

What the article did not mention, however, was the internal work – the emotional and perceptual work we can do to embody justice not only in our minds but in our hearts. How do we genuinely heal from the damage of racism and internalized racism, as well as mental health oppression, adultism and all form of oppression? We can change all the laws in the land – and we have changed many laws (civil rights laws, employment laws via the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and the Americans with Disability Act laws) but that doesn’t change attitudes. I hope I have sufficiently planted a seed for future conversation that will address the emotional and perceptual or attitudinal issues and how we can come to truly embody justice for all – in our laws and in our hearts. It is good that we have opened this conversation to speak more honestly about oppression and particularly racism. All oppressions are linked so as we clean up the damage done by the internalization of one form of oppression we are cleaning up or freeing ourselves from the damage from other forms of oppression.

What I like most about getting older is getting wiser. What if white people in America could admit that we are racist? It’s very hard to not be racist if you are a white person raised in the U.S. Can we be honest? I have spent much of my life trying to find my truth. This morning, with racism on my mind and with that very important topic being exposed on the front page in all of the major U.S news outlets, I remembered that I wrote a short piece about racism that I will share below. First I want to ask you to imagine a world without racism and live your life that way.

Another brief comment before I share my thoughts on racism 101. There are many similarities between mental health oppression (which is an umbrella terms for what this blog/web site is about) and racism. I invite readers to contemplate the similarities and differences in these pernicious forms of oppressions. Sera Davidow has begun a wonderful Mad in America blog-discussion on this. Thank you Sera. In the mean time let me admit to my own racism. Here is what I wrote previously. I offer it as an invitation to racism 101.

A book excerpt

… I had to be informed about racism (my own white racism) and institutionalized racism. In working on my racism, it became clear that I did not agree to be racist – it was installed from the outside and it left me damaged, as is the case with all people in oppressor roles. The minds and spirits of those conditioned by society to act as the agents of racism are corrupted. The damage done to individuals targeted by racism — the hurts from being treated as inferior, denied basic material needs, denied a fair share of resources, demeaned, attacked, threatened with destruction and much more — is done to individuals through their contact with society’s institutions and by the actions of individuals….
Cycles of unhealed hurt perpetuate misunderstanding and miscommunication that may lead to further conflicts, intolerance and violence. The damage from oppression clouds thinking… dissemination of information about internalized oppression has the potential of healing painful wounds and stopping the cycles of hurts that have continued for generations.

This excerpt is from the chapter on Forgiveness, Living for Two: A Daughter’s Journey from Grief and Madness to Forgiveness and Peace, in which I write about how I came to forgive the seventeen year old who murdered my father.

In previous blogs I have written about the importance of dialogue, healing from trauma, facing the unfaceable and other related topics. All forms of oppression are intrinsically linked and interact with one another. You can’t heal from one oppression without it impacting healing from another. It makes sense to me that the opposite is true as well – that is, as we form judgments and close our minds in one area (be it racism, sexism, able-bodyism, etc) it increases judgments and occludes our clear thinking in other areas.

What happened that caused us individually and collectively to begin to lose our humanity, our sense of connection with ourselves and with others. I am happy to share what I have learned about my own process and perhaps it will be useful to you and your process. I go early in my search for my truth. At the time of my birth and soon after that I find many answers to some of my core struggles. I don’t think I am alone in these struggles, I think they are pervasive human struggles. When I was born I was looking for connection – the same connection and sense of belonging and safely I felt in the womb. I eventually learned as a very young child that no one was really there, consistently present to protect me, hold me, and keep me safe from an unsafe world. In that early hurt where disconnect begins, the seeds of separation were planted. If I can’t trust a person who looks like me, how can I trust anyone? I learned to disconnect from others and from myself – it was the best way I could figure out to survive. These seeds form early beliefs that allow the development of all forms of oppression. I began believing in the illusion of separation – that I am a separate entity from you. My socialization process reinforced the sense of separation and the vital importance of protecting this illusion. That created a trap wherein more and more judgments were created to justify my illusions such as beliefs like – I am right, you are wrong or you are right and I am wrong. All of this led to inner war which then got projected onto others which in turn sets up relationships based on separation and war. And I come to believe that war is necessary in order to hold on to what I came to believe was true and mine – whether it be protecting my property, my family, my political or religious beliefs.

For me, healing as meant transcending my social conditioning. How can we see other ways of thinking and being in the world as valid and good? As we approach that more possibilities and relationships open up. Our heart and mind expand, our perceptual barriers dissolve.

How do we free ourselves from racism, mental health oppression and all forms of human beings harming human beings? How do we create peace? Can we be with another person without judgment, holding multiple truths, standing firmly grounded in another persons moccasins? This is not easy but I think it is the work we need to do to embody inner peace. For me, it is the most important and very dynamic process I am involved in. It affects everything in my life – every relationship, how I view myself, every step I take. At least that is the bar I would like to hold myself to.

Can we hold Michael Brown and Darren Wilson in synchronistic harmony, holding both as correct? Why is it seemingly impossible to do this? Why do I keep forgetting to try? Those are the edges of oppression, where I get a taste of the work I need to do in order to find peace and healing.

What steps are you willing to take to end racism? I plan to continue to work to be more deeply aware of my own white racism. I will also continue to build close relationships with people from my own culture as well as people from cultures different than my own.

I believe that we can end racism in our lifetime. It is worth repeating, imagine a world without racism and live your life that way.

What began as a story of self-discovery, spiritual awakening, and healing written only for family and friends evolved into a memoir reflecting my path towards liberation that other people might find useful on their journey of awakening to the person they were born to be.

A power greater than myself became a wind under my wings moving the creation of this memoir forward. The story was enhanced by the process of creative expression that deepened the intimate look at my experience of loss and grieving that were intertwined with my liberation journey. Finally, after ten years in gestation, I gave birth to a memoir, Living for Two: A Daughter’s Journey from Grief and Madness to Forgiveness and Peace. Here’s a brief glimpse at what it’s about.

At first I thought the purpose of the book was to let people know that even though my father died when I was 14 years old, his life and his death continue to have a significant impact on me. My father was murdered by a teenager with a handgun in an act of street violence. In some ways my life ended with his death. I needed to recreate myself, to find meaning in an unsafe and irrational world. This led to my being put in a mental institution at the age of 16 and labeled with chronic schizophrenia.

Yet the story is about healing, love and some of the bountiful gifts that are revealed when we look deeply at what our lives are, what meaning is to be found on our journeys. I often ask myself, who was I born to be? Who do I want to be? Telling my story has been about standing firmly on the ground, deeply connected to the earth, naked, showing all of my dimensions – my thinking, my strength, and revealing what I have learned

Much of the journey has been about scraping, scrubbing and peeling off the effects of social conditioning and the impact of brainwashing that created who I thought I was but through the process of self-discovery and liberation I can see it has little to do with who I am.

Like so many of us, I had to work through and journey beyond layers of misinformation. I needed to revisit, remember, reevaluate, review, and pass through some experiences to finally feel at the age of 58, like I am now beginning to live more honestly and true to who I was born to be. The book gives an emotional flavor of my life and some of my work in the world.

This ten year process of exploration and finding the right words to describe my journey has opened up new possibilities for me to explore. When I use words (instead of other forms of creative expression) those dimensions will come out as blogs. My most recent blog is an example of this new dimension opening up to me. I am still processing what happened by the pond in Auschwitz two months ago. I know that I am forever changed by my experience there. I feel more deeply connected to life, death and spirit – than ever.

The book is an invitation to look more closely at the meaning of your life. The Dialogues of Discovery tour that I began facilitating this year have validated for me how much people want to share where they struggle, their questions, their learnings and that when a safe space is created to do this – they courageously come forward. Many people have said that they showed themselves in ways they have never before done in public. The message I got at the pond in Auschwitz was to “go forward into the light”. And so with the wind at my back I find new ways to create community. As a teenager I had a vision of a world that was peaceful, inclusive, and honored all life forms. That vision and my attempts to communicate it were labeled ‘chronic schizophrenia’.
It has taken me decades to deeply reclaim that vision and walk towards that peaceful place. I join with others, making heart to heart connections that allow us to co-create communities that sustain us and honor life for yesterday, today and tomorrow.

No matter what pain, oppression and suffering we go through, reclaiming our humanity is always possible.

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Three Free Dialogues of Discovery to Share Our Collective Wisdom: Think, Listen and Share

Join me for three free teleconference Dialogues of Discovery to explore, investigate and discover together: meaning and purpose, who were you born to be, who do you want to be, who you already are and how to embody that peaceful being, shining your light, creating inclusive communities, and other topics which participants bring forward.

All three free teleconferences are the 4^th Tuesday of the month: 3pm-4:30pm ET/ 2pm–3:30pm CT/ 1pm–2:30pm MT/ 12pm-1:30pm PT. No reservations needed. Let’s keep it simple.

Dialogue 1: Who are you? Who were you born to be?

In preparation for this topic it may be useful to:

• Imagine entering your childhood through your heart and remember your earliest emotions, images or thoughts; Tap into your pure intelligence, radiance, zest and whatever is revealed.
• Investigate who are you beneath your mask, your roles and your attachments.
• Strive for the earliest memories, what was it was like to be curious, innocent, and fearless?
• Do you feel a sense of purpose and belonging? If not, what hurt, if healed, would make all the difference in the world?

January 27, 2015 3pm-4:30pm ET/ 2pm – 3:30pm CT/ 1pm – 2:30pm MT/ 12pm-1:30pm PT

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 Dialogue 2: What is the relationship between our emotions and our soul?

Another way to ask this question is what is our essence and how do we express that essence? In preparation for this topic it may be useful to ponder:

• Are emotions a pathway to the soul?
• What is the relationship between our essence, hearing voices and the divine?

February 24, 2015 3pm-4:30pm ET/ 2pm – 3:30pm CT/ 1pm – 2:30pm MT/ 12pm-1:30pm PT

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Dialogue 3: Envisioning and creating the world you want

What is your life’s mission and how are you embodying that day to day? How are you embodying inner peace and creating global peace?

March 24, 2015 3pm-4:30pm ET/ 2pm – 3:30pm CT/ 1pm – 2:30pm PT/ 12pm-1:30pm PT

Call 605-562-0020  Meeting ID: 639-365-821

For future announcements check Lauren’s website or join her email list.

To purchase the book, click here.

I spend 15 years slowly preparing for a trip into the unfaceable. One of the most important processes that supported me on this journey was observing and being witness to a US human rights advocate and coalition builder (who has German gentile heritage) do gut wrenching emotional healing work particularly against anti-Semitism and white racism. She inspired me with her intelligence, tenacity and determination to be free from the damaging effects of these forms of oppressions. Some members of her family supported the Nazis. Two years ago I told her I was ready to join her in going to Poland and the eight day Healing from War workshop. Last year and again this year we went and were part of a 75 person international group who spent 16 hours a day for 8 days living together and working closely on our individual and collective healing. This article focuses on the most personally meaningful lesson I learned. There were many other lesson learned that will not be addressed here, such as the personal, social, economic and political impact of US imperialism, how our use of language communicates internalized oppressive patterns, the personal and social impact of growing up in a war zone and living in an occupied country, etc. Because USers are often unawarely conditioned to take over, meaning take up a lot of space or have a tendency to be aggressive, we are limited to a small percentage of workshop participants. Thus, most workshop participants came from other countries and language translation occurred continuously during the entire workshop.

Day One of the workshop includes a four-hour guided tour of Auschwitz I; Day Two is a four-hour guided tour of Auschwitz II (Birkenau) – the largest death camps of WWII and the largest graveyard in the world. Estimates range from 1.9 – 2.1 million Jews were murdered there. Other people were murdered there as well particularly Poles, Russians, people with disabilities, and Roma. There are no graves, rather the ashes of men, women and children were scattered everywhere but particularly in the two small ponds within Auschwitz II and in a nearby river. Last year there were two particular moments of the tour that were most moving for me. First, I will say that while going through Auschwitz we were (as instructed by our workshop leader) inseparable from our companions. I had the same companions both last year and this year – one with German heritage (mentioned previously) and another who I have known for 17 years and who like me – is Jewish and our fathers’ fought in WWII.

Both last year and this year, while visiting these concentration/death camps I felt not numbness but it was hard to feel emotions due to being satiated with information that bombarded all of my senses with the horrors of what we saw and what we learned. I could not take in any more of anything other than putting one foot in front of the other, holding onto my companions and absorbing this atrocity. Last year the first emotional/ spiritual experience I had was on day one while standing in the gas chamber. What came to me was ‘sorrow of the souls’. One hundred and forty men, women and children were crammed into this cement rectangular room. Then poisonous gas containers were released. It took 15 minutes for everyone to die. The ovens were conveniently located in the room next door. These were highly organized death factories. And I could feel the sorrow of the souls. I was grateful that I could feel. I understand how it is that many people go through Auschwitz feeling numb.

On day two the fullness continued as my senses were bombarded with more sights, stories and information until we got to the pond. Suddenly and unexpectedly a spiritual blanket unlike anything I had ever experienced in my life came over me. I don’t know which came first – the words or my tears – but the unmistakable message was “something happened here” meaning right here and it was somehow related to me. I will never forget this; I felt deeply supported by the embrace of my companions.

After completing the workshop and returning to the U.S. I spent many hours over many months doing emotional release work related to this deeply moving and mysterious spiritual/emotional “something happened here” encounter. I wanted to know what happened and how it was connected to me. Were the ashes of my ancestors there? Possibly. I knew I had to return to the pond and so I went back to Auschwitz and the workshop and I believe I found what I was looking for but I didn’t know I was looking for it until I found it. And I didn’t know I found it until someone pointed it out. Let me explain.

Last month I was back at the pond with my companions and I sat on the grass and felt the sun’s powerful white light and warmth while I shook and cried and asked “What happened here? How is it related to me?” I soaked in the fullness of the radiating white light that seemed to communicate “go forward into the light”. And there was a giant red dragonfly that kept flying – right – left – right – left for a long time – between me and the pond. I laughed at the dragon fly and asked “What are you doing here?” It felt like she was an eye-catching reminder of the beauty and simplicity of life and nature. I didn’t have any grand answers to my questions but I felt satisfied. I had returned, I felt a deep presence of powerfully, warm light that flowed through my body – I knew I had more healing work to do and this moment would help carry me forward.

I am skipping some of the less important details but I will say that one thing that many Jews share and that I became more acutely aware of that at this years workshop is that many of us don’t know this ancestral history. So many Jews had so many family members murdered in WWII that our history is lost and it is or was too painful for many of our family members to talk about. Six million Jews were murdered in WWII – 90% of the Jews of Europe. One workshop participant this year shared that a relative of hers had sent her an email – one page – listing a several relatives who had been killed in the holocaust. Right before the workshop she decided to print the page and that is when she saw that the email was actually 10 pages. She had not scrolled down to see that 264 of her family members were killed in the Holocaust.

Two days after visiting the pond I was in a 6-person ‘sharing our stories’ support groups. I had shared lots of stories over the past year and several stories at this years workshop mostly about my ancestors on my mother’s side who escaped/immigrated from Russia and how my father died when I was 14 and he was an only child and my mother thought his ancestors were from Hungary and last year at Auschwitz I saw the names of hundreds and hundreds of Spiro’s who were murdered in Auschwitz. This time I told the story as I had never done before. I said “I don’t have a story. On my father’s side of the family – there was my father and his parents. I don’t know any other relatives. If any of them had survived Auschwitz I think I would have known about them. So there is no story. It makes sense that some of those Spiro’s were most likely my relatives but I don’t know. There is no story”. I don’t recall what else I said but the support group leader said. “You found them” and I immediately felt her words in the core of my body with a sudden pressure on my chest and then tears came. Oh my God – I found them. That was the message in the white light. That was what happened at the pond. That was the answer I didn’t know I was looking for. That was why I had to return to the pond. It made sense. I have never had such a powerful spiritual pull to be somewhere and to work on this specific experience. It was fate. I found my family at the pond. It was meant to be. I am left feeling more deeply connected to my people – my family and the thousands of years of oppression of my people. And that also connects me to all humans because we live on a planet where no one escapes the damage of war, the ultimate betrayal of humanity. This great trauma and the deep betrayal that accompanies it is an unfaceable anguish. The pain is a bond amongst all who live whether we are aware of it or not. I feel more deeply connected to my place in history and everyone who walks or has walked through life.

I know more deeply than ever in my body and in my soul that we are all much more deeply connected then we are aware of. I want more than anything I have ever wanted – to end war. I am getting clearer and clearer on how this can be done. I honor that knowing how it is done and actually doing it are two very different things. What work could possibly be harder than this?

My life’s focus since last year’s workshop has been to heal from the damaging effect that war has had on my mind – both the inner war and the outer war – and the damage that impacts our ways of thinking that get passed on from generation to generation.

If I can end the war in my mind by healing these old traumas then peace will emerge. I now know that that is why I was lead back to the pond. That was the message in the white light. My soul is healing and finding peace. I am not there yet. I appreciate the process.

No culture or community or individual escapes the damage caused by war. War is the ultimate betrayal of humanity. It occurs when we have so completely lost our way and we cling desperately to concepts such as possessiveness, power and separation. Yet, psychiatry has declared war on big emotions; those very human experiences that help us find our way in times of difficulty. Big emotions are the heart’s way of calling out for support when we need someone’s good attention and thoughtfulness to help us get back to ourselves- to find our equilibrium.

The release or expression of strong emotions is part of the coming home or healing process. There is a great chasm between living our lives genuinely from our heart and deepest values versus living in conformity with an oppressive culture driven by exploitation, greed and productivity. How can we remain genuine in an irrational world?

What do we mean by peace? What does it look like? How might you live your life differently if you were creating peace every moment? How might your relationships change? What can we do to end war? Mad in America is taking a bold step by hosting a film festival celebrating the courageous battle for liberation and how to stay grounded in our humanity while social, economic and political forces continuously pull us towards war. .

The invitation is to find inner peace so that we may co-create global peace. I don’t have anything better to do with my life. Do you? Having a clear intention and purpose to my life helps me to stay focused on moving towards peace knowing that in any given moment the micro and macro steps will shift with windows of opportunity.

What gets in the way of embodying peace-making? I am finding that I need to let go of everything I ever thought was mine – objects, projects, relationships. I find I also need to let go of everything I was taught to me as my identity. From as far back as I can remember I was told ‘who’ I was – separate from others, female, white, nice, pretty, don’t cause trouble or make waves (middle class oppression), homeowner, manager, psychiatric survivor, artist, student, friend, daughter, cousin, teacher, student, etc. Many of these identities come with beautiful attributes as well as a lot of internalized oppression. My mental health liberation journey (with the gold star chronic schizophrenia diagnosis) has taught me that there was never anything wrong with me or my brain. It taught me that the experts too quickly jumped to the pathology conclusion never considering or possibly imagining that the “madness” was a portal to deeper understanding of my mind and of my self. The experience was an opportunity to gain greater insight into the purpose and meaning of my life. Long ago I realized, with a little help from my smart friends, that the ‘experts’ were very wrong.

The grip of the psycho-pharmaceutical industry, the beautification industry, the war machine the U.S. has become and so many other oppressive forces make it hard to stay true to the heart. I try to keep my lens as clean as possible by recognizing the impact of living in a shallow, exploitive, mind-numbing, TV-tranquilized, micro-wave, high speed technicolor, gimmicked-to-death magic pill culture that leaves little room to be human.

I peal off layers of misinformation and lies. It is a painstaking process but it is where I need to go to find peace and appreciate why peace is so hard to embody. So I let my heart break and then break some more. The betrayal of humanity runs deep. I remember feeling it as a child. Where had they (caretakers) gone? No one was holding me helping me adjust to this new world I was part of. No one was really there and present to keep me safe in a scary new environment. I was terrified and anxious and became hard and tough in order to protect myself against the daily assaults of disconnection, abandonment, powerlessness and isolation. These daily micro and macro assaults taught me how to defend myself and were the birth of my inner war. Our culture seems to be made up of a constant string of attacks on our genuineness, our innate capacity for love, connection, cooperation and compassion. And I have hurt others unintentionally, unawarely and I try to stop acting out on the war that rages in my head. I think I need to let go of so much that I will truly become unrecognizable to myself. I am not there yet, it’s a process. I am heading towards a paradigm where there are no judgments, leaving my mind as open as possible. If my mind is truly open, my heart will follow. Or is it the other way around? If my heart is open, my mind will follow.

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Embodying peace seems mostly about alliance building, reaching for others respectfully so that we may forgive and create understanding and peace.

To explore more thoroughly this issue of ending war and creating peace I am returning next month to Auschwitz, the largest Nazi death camp (during WWII). Doing this work with others has changing my life. Going into the darkness (the deep emotional abyss) with others by my side, and releasing the emotions, allows more space for me to begin to find peace. The more I release pent up emotions, which are the result of the inner war, the more I am able to think flexibly and creatively. It follows that when there is less pressure to keep my emotions under control and thus less pressure on my brain then my intelligence is freer to operate more spaciously. And when my mind is freer I think more clearly and am more adept at finding elegant solutions to challenges or opportunities. Every challenge is an opportunity. Alliance building on an individual level may be as simple and as exquisitely difficult as two people (who have been torn apart for any number of social, political, historical reasons) reaching for one another.

Key alliance building questions are:

1. What do you respect about this (other) person
2. What gets in the way of respecting them? In other words, what have they (or their people) done to you (or your people) that has made it hard for her/him to be a close and trusted ally.
3. What specific steps will you take to build an alliance with this person.

Imagine a Jew and a Nazi doing this work. Imagine any two people who have been torn apart – facing each other, standing in their truth, not blaming self or others but taking responsibility for their feelings, thoughts and actions – and reaching for one another.

Another approach – the Open Dialogue process – also provides a pathway to peace. Open Dialogue, as practiced in Tornio, Finland, has demonstrated not only the most impressive outcomes in the world for people with first episodes of psychosis, it has transformed the community surrounding Tornio from having the highest rate of schizophrenia diagnosis in the world to, 25 years later, the lowest – all but eliminating new diagnoses of schizophrenia. They have created a mental health service delivery system that models building peace, understanding and compassion throughout the entire community, and points the way toward how we can do the same with our communities.

This approach is also reflected in other approaches that grapple with the effects of trauma and strife on people, by seeking to collectively rewrite the stories that we share as we move forward. The Truth and Reconciliation process in South Africa is an example of a collective opening to each others’ truths, and the creation of a new reality. Not forgetting the past but by learning to let go of our individual world views as being central, and replacing them with a collectivized experience of the world as being an essential part of human life, the possibility of new relationships – to each other as well as to ourselves – emerges.

The open dialogue approach refers to speaking in our authentic voice, suspending preconceived notions about others – and ourselves – so we can deeply hear what the other is communicating, respecting and learning from the other person using curious inquiry to embrace differences in thought or behavior, equally valuing everyone’s contributions and experiences, speaking from the heart and eliminating power differences such as those based on social status or position (Emotional CPR workbook, 2014)

Co-creating peace is a possible outcome of open dialogue.

When our hearts and minds fuse there is a deepening pulsating awareness of the light of our consciousness which evolves us forward. The grace lifts us to transcend our cultural conditioning and co-create the future together. Buddha said, “All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world”.

When we embody the practice of dialogue as a way of being we may become aware of the following processes.

– The extent to which we get emotionally hooked on what someone is expressing reflects the extent to which we are not free – that our thinking is stuck on a particular belief or ideology that we have not thoroughly examined and let go. It may indicate that more reflection may deepen our awareness or self-knowledge.

– If we reach this ‘ideal’ very open dialogue we transcend our social conditioning. We see other ways of thinking and being in the world as valid and good – and that means that more possibilities and relationships open up. Our heart and mind expand, our perceptual barriers dissolve.

– When we transcend our social conditioning we become more open to co-creating a new paradigm. In this fertile ground of openness, we think more clearly and therefore can more effectively co-create the communities we want. When the war in our mind ends, peace emerges.

What approaches do you find most helpful? What are you doing to bring peace to your family, your community or to the world? I welcome more dialogue on this here, at the Mad in America Film Festival … or anywhere.

To read more about the authors journey towards peace, see her memoir at

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_12?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=lauren%20spiro&sprefix=lauren+spiro%2Caps%2C208

Healing from an Addiction to Patterned Ways of Thinking

Lauren Spiro

July 22, 2014

I had a soul-redemptive heart-to-heart reunion with a woman I had known from a distance but whom now (after our hours long coeur-a-coeur/heart-to-heart) I consider a close friend. I shared with her some very exciting and some challenging circumstances I have been experiencing of late, which I will get back to in a moment. After I shared and shed a few tears she told me a story from her life that also poses, like my story, an invitation for profound change in our lives.

Her story was that on her first day of college her father unexpectedly found her and her boyfriend at her parent’s home “together” (if you catch the drift which I did in our conversation). Her father, upon finding them beat up the boyfriend very badly. He also told her that if she ever saw him again he would kill him. She was too terrified to see him again. She did not doubt that her father would kill him. They had been long-time high school sweethearts and she said she certainly thought she was going to marry him till this happened.

She suppressed so much terror and emotion, and went on with life. She married, had children, divorced, had a very successful career. And one night while out of town on business for a week she found time to search her high school web page. She found that he (her former sweetheart) had been writing her and trying to find her for the past 3 years. Upon reading 3 years of emails from him, she said the lid blew off the manhole cover. She had an emotionally explosive meltdown – re-finding her love after 30 years. All the emotion she had suppressed came back full force and she could not stop crying for the whole week. She was finally releasing so much of what she had held in.

She told me she weighted 220 pounds when this happened and that from that day forward her addiction to emotional eating stopped. That patterned way of suppressing emotion was no longer needed and the extra 100 pounds she was carrying around dissolved. It has been four years since they found each other again and have had a long distance relationship. Now she is making concrete plans to re-locate to live with him and this, too, brings up some emotional questions about maintaining healthy boundaries and taking exquisite care of herself. That eventful day of 30 years ago had profoundly changed him. It left him feeling unworthy of her love and unworthy in general. He thought she had forgotten about him. He has lived with this wound and himself held in a lot of emotion which he is still healing from.

Now back to my own experience which I shared with my friend. The addiction I am learning to break is a patterned way of thinking that keeps my life smaller than I want it to be. Sometimes I don’t realize there is a glass ceiling or floor until I bump into it, and then I know it’s time to look at it, feel it and release the un-discharged emotion that created it. The releasing process allows deeper freedom of mind, meaning the ability to think more clearly and to be more present in the moment.

Like bumping into the glass wall, I also sometimes don’t realize how not-present I am until my mind can quiet down enough to experience a deeper level of presence − of being. This new sense of liberation and strength is, I believe, due to discharging terror and rage that is bubbling up. The current events are linked to ancient dynamics not only from my own lifestream but, I believe, from inter-generational trauma and violence. A new sense of empowerment and clarity of thought and action arises as I live more genuinely from my heart and co-create deeper, more meaningful relationships. In this way I am becoming more aligned with the way I want to be in the world and with the way I want the world to be.

Crisis is opportunity and I have just burned off something that has changed me. Perhaps the poem I wrote while in the midst of crisis, below, captures the intensity of my ‘burning off’ experience. And by the way, I awoke to that beautiful sunrise.

My arms are tied and bound, latched on a truck that is

Dragging my body across a heavily graveled road.

Skin torn and ripped off my cartilage

Blood covering me

I scream out in agony

Like a wild beast stabbed in the gut

Ravished

Raged

Terrified

Out of control

The pain and torment is unbearable

Where are you my love

I scream and howl for you in the night

But you are far far away

And I don’t know how to touch you and feel you and know that you – the one I love with all my heart and all my soul – are there

The pain of an eternity bound in an incomprehensible abandonement of humanity

Twisted minds brainwashed into the killing fields of Cambodia, the electrified barbed wire of Auschwitz

Eternity speaks and I listen and embody the sorrow of the souls

And all I can do is untie my self from that truck that has stopped dragging me

And stand with mother earth holding me

And saying

Life brings great pain that only deepens the love and gratitude for any crumbs we may find

And any days of life that we can breath

And again see a sunrise whose magnificent beauty blows our mind away

Hold me until the nightmare ends

​
http://www.madinamerica.com/author/lspiro/

Written by Lauren Spiro, based on her tumultuous life, ‘Living for Two’ fuses the author’s poignant story of tragedy and triumph with a series of bold life lessons. After being committed to a mental institution after her father was murdered, Spiro was forced to endure the brunt of the nation’s broken mental health policy. However, through a transformative journey that will inspire all, Spiro turned herself from victim to victor. She is now taking that story public for the first time to prove that healing of the mind and heart is always possible.

Today, in an unlikely yet remarkable twist of fate, Spiro prospers as an educator, mental health provider and co-founder of Emotional CPR, a public health education project. ‘Living for Two’ takes readers into Spiro’s tragedy, trauma and eventual triumph; empowering all to break their silence and recognize hope’s omnipresence.

To date, the book has garnered impressive reviews. Family Physician, Mark Foster, comments, “In vivid prose and poetry, Lauren Spiro has painted for us a picture of her spiritual journey, a journey that took her from unbearable emotional pain, down into psychosis, through the depths of our dysfunctional mental health system, and finally to a place of transcendent healing and peace. This is a story of hope and love, the story of how a daughter, so devastated by her father’s senseless murder, was rescued by his cherished spirit awakening in her adult life. The message is clear: healing of the mind and heart is always possible, love needs to be the guiding star in recovery, and we are all connected, much more deeply than we understand.”

Author Robert Whitaker was equally as impressed, adding, “In this moving, beautifully written memoir, Lauren Spiro tells of unfathomable loss, the madness of a psychiatric system that would diagnose her with ‘chronic schizophrenia’ at age 16, and her ultimate recovery from both of those childhood traumas. In her poetry and prose, we see, too, that words—the language that can bring us understanding and compassion—can have a healing power of their own.”

‘Living for Two: A Daughter’s Journey From Grief and Madness to Forgiveness and Peace’ is available on amazon.com and other e-retailers. For more information, visit the author’s official website: http://laurenspiro.com.

In Honor of Father’s Day Madness Radio Releases Interview of Lauren Spiro

On father’s day (6-15-14) Madness Radio released it’s interview of Lauren Spiro.

How do we recover from childhood violence? When Lauren Spiro was 14, her father was murdered. Eighteen months later, she began to have unusual spiritual experiences and was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Today she works today to promote peace and healing in communities, fulfilling the vision she had in her extreme state. Lauren is co-director of Emotional CPR, associate director of the National Coalition for Mental Health Recovery, and her new memoir is Living For Two: A Daughter’s Journey from Grief and Madness to Forgiveness and Peace.

https://laurenspiro.com/ www.ncmhr.org/ www.emotional-cpr.org

http://www.madnessradio.net/madness-radio-healing-connection-lauren-spiro?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+madnessradio+%28Madness+Radio%29